chapter 20

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"There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it." - George Bernard Shaw

20.

Vivian

Lost.

I was mentally and physically lost.

Mentally, I felt lost in their lies. Running alone in search of my location might have allowed me to think for a while, but even after that, there was only one constant thought in my mind - betrayal. It slowly dawned on me how much of a fool I had been, a fool who was happily living in her own reality - a reality which was a dream, a mere fantasy.

Physically, I was also unable to guide myself towards the human territory. I had no idea as to which direction to go, there were no familiar sights to guide me out. Not knowing the way out from another pack's territory was one of the drawbacks of staying in your own pack and not venturing to other places for your entire life.

For the first time in my life, I found myself completely and utterly, alone.

The East territory was somewhere I've never been to. My father always went to pack meetings held at the other three packs with Zack since he was to become the Alpha of our pack after him. Father never asked me to join and I was equally uninterested to visit other packs. But to think of it now, I can understand why father never invited me to tag along - he did not want me to meet Ethan and recognise our mate bond. However, Zack, since he was oblivious to everything that was happening around him, did stress upon the importance of knowing the way in and out of each territory. But being the headstrong woman I am, I always disregarded his opinion.

"You are a stubborn woman, Viv. One day this will cost you and you'll think about the day when your wonderful brother told you to listen to him, but as always Her Highness thought she was way above her brother's opinion." My brother was right. And his words came back to bite me in the ass because right now, Her Highness was utterly and undeinably lost.

I always focused on staying home in order to put maximum efforts for the security and strengthening of our own pack. It did not matter to me what other packs did, as long as they abided by the peace treaty. However, standing at at the edge of nowhere, completely lost, made me realise that Zack was right after all.

Knowledge is power.

The silence was echoing in my ears. The only source of sound was the constant thumping of my heart. It was racing at a tremendous speed, threatening to escape at any given second. I was also extremely tired of running, even attempting to keep my eyes open was a struggle. My brain wanted to give in but I knew I couldn't rest when I was being chased.

The silver moon was high in the sky, the only source of light in the darkness. The moonlight shone down, a diffuse glow, illuminating the never-ending river that I was following since I left Josh's house. The serene, deep blue river flowed with perfect consistency, carrying all the debris that fell in from above slowly downstream. My intital plan was to keep following the river, in hopes of finding the territory inhabited by the humans. Every wolf knew that humans were the closest to the East pack, but I had been racing alongside the river for more than an hour and it seems to keep stretching on.

Goddess, how big is the East territory?

I raised my snout in the air, trying my best to sniff out the stench of humans. They had a distinct, overpowering smell which is why we wolves always kept our distance from them.

However, it was difficult to concentrate when thousands of thoughts flooded my mind. There were so many unanswered questions, answers which only he could give me. Not only that, it was also getting tiring to keep the wall up to block the constant mind-links trying to penetrate my mind. It was always the same, a crushing pain just on one side of his head that came and went in a pattern. It felt as if every person of my pack was trying to contact me. Blocking them wasn't difficult, however, it was taking all my power to block out of my father, who was also my Alpha. Blocking an Alpha took extreme effort, and was impossible for almost everyone living in the pack. The pain felt like someone was trying to stab my skull with a knife. I leant my head against a nearby tree and squeezed my eyes tightly shut, willing the pain to go away.

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