Twelve

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   A week has passed since my last episode and the visit of my brother. I was isolating myself, going to school then getting back to the unit and staying in my room reading or staring outside the window. One day after school I was sitting in my room reading on my bed when I heard a knock at my door. I lowered my book and saw Sophia standing there, tube in the nose, but still smiling. "Hey," I said, "come on in." She came in and sat on my desk chair. 

   "I want you to come with me. We're going on an outing to the store, then the art museum."

   "Soph I-"

   "No excuses, you're coming." She looked at me beggingly. I went to open my mouth to say no but Sophia caught me. "You're coming. If I and my nose hose can go so can you." I smiled at her.

   "Fine fine, I'll go. But, I'm only going because you're my friend and I'll take any chance to get out of this hell hole." Sophia jumped up.

   "YAY! Come, follow me!" I followed her over to the table of techs and Sophia informed them that I was coming along. The techs looked at me, confused since I had been avoiding any contact with humans lately. I nodded to confirm.

   "You're going to have to talk to Dr.Peters," Briar said to me. 

   "Is he in his office?" Briar said he was and Sophia told me to go. I hesitantly walked over to his office and stood in front of the door. I was still for a moment then knocked, softly, 3 times. A voice from inside told me to come in. I opened the door and stood in the doorway. "Hey, Dr.Peters," I said under my breath.

   "Margo, please come in." I walked over and sat in a chair. "What brings you in?"

   "I would like to go on the outing today." He stopped what he was doing and looked at me. "I know I only just got off of 1 to 1 yesterday and I haven't been doing my best but I was thinking maybe some outside time would benefit me. There's going to be plenty of staff and Mali and Elliot will both be there so I'll be okay."

   "Do you feel safe?"

   "I do. I do." He goes quiet for a moment then sighs. 

   "Go get a tech and bring them to me." I run out of the room and grab Briar and Lily and bring them to his office. He talks to them both behind closed doors while I sit outside and wait. After what felt like forever they both walked out and he called me back in. "You can go," he says to me. 

   "Really?"

   "When you get back to the ward you're going to have a one on one session with Mali about how the outing went and you'll also be reporting to me after the outing as well. Do you understand?"

   "Yes! Yes!" I practically run out of the room and over to Sophia and tell her the news. She grabs my unbandaged hand and squeezes it tightly.

   "We got this." 

...

   Later that day it was time for the outing. Walmart first then the art museum. About 10 of us from the unit piled into the van and we were on our way. I was sandwiched between Blake and Sophia in the very back row. When we drove out of the front gate I let out a big sigh. I was excited. It took about 10 minutes to get to Walmart. When we got there everyone got out and stood awkwardly by the front door. Mali and Elliot were meeting us at the museum so we had three techs with us. We all walked into the store together, but we were told we could wander by ourselves but we had to meet at the front in 20 minutes. Everyone darted off in different directions. I walked over to the clothes which are where most people ended up. I looked to see if anyone was watching me and I slipped out of that section to another part of the store. I found myself looking at razors. I kept looking around at other shoppers, thinking they were watching me and they knew where I was from. There was nothing that marked me as a psychiatric patient, I dressed normal, I looked normal. I even wore a long sleeve shirt to cover my scars and bandages. I looked around again and grabbed two packs of double-edged razors and walked to a camera blindspot then shoved the packs into my bra. I made my way back to the clothes and managed to pick a few items and pay for them. I then walked back to the entrance. I saw Sophia standing outside and she beckoned for me to join her. I stood by the metal detectors frozen.

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