Chapter four: Stupid humans

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Jeremy had never been so embarrassed in his life.

His face was redder than a tomato when laughter boomed in the room. "Oh God, this is so embarrassing," Jeremy mumbled, covering his face in his hands. Lucifer's laughter instantly ceased, "Don't bring my father into this, human."

Lucifer then decided to ignore the boy's incident, and rather focus on the issue at hand. He walked up close to Jeremy, making sure he didn't get his designer shoes wet, and sniffed his neck. The demons' laughter had faded into the background and Jeremy held his breath, afraid of the man in front of him.

"Abigor," he called. Abigor instantly stood by his side, "Yes, sir?" Lucifer barely glanced at his right hand man as he spoke, "Why is there an innocent here?" The demons gasped in excitement while Jeremy finally saw a silver lining in his peculiar predicament, "I told you I was innocent, I didn't do anything! But how would you know?"

The devil rolled his eyes and mumbled to himself, "I hate humans, so bloody annoying." He continued on anyway, "Innocent humans have a specific smell, it's kind of like a drug— highly addictive." That was the moment Jeremy realised that the devil hadn't moved away from his neck and took a small step back, pretending not to notice. But there were a lot of things to notice at this moment; one of them being the now very cold and very wet pants he wore and desperately wanted to get out of.

Abigor then decided to answer his previous question, "I don't know, sir, we'd have to talk to the Deciders." Lucifer internally cringed at the thought while his face showed nothing but a stoic façade.

"Let's go to my office to discuss this further, and make sure you're telling the truth." Lucifer was fairly intrigued by the boy. It wasn't often the soul of an innocent would be in Hell, in fact, this had never happened before, and the devil was determined to find out why. A smile grazed his lips when he realised how this could be used to his advantage.

Without another word, Lucifer turned around and headed in the direction he came from. Jeremy watched as he walked away before snapping out of his thoughts when Abigor nudged his shoulder, and ran to keep up with the larger male. Abigor was following close behind, but not before telling somebody to clean up the mess.

Jeremy found it hard to keep up with Lucifer's long and fast strides but one look back at the hungry and humoured demons, he made sure to keep up. When Lucifer finally stopped by a door, the boy was completely out of breath. He had never really been the athletic type, and now was the time to pay for that. The man started muttering some words before opening the door and entering the building.

It was truly a sight to behold. Outside the building looked small and run down but the inside was huge with tall ceilings, golden chandeliers and grand doors that looked too heavy to open alone. "Woah, how..." Jeremy's whisper trailed off. It was fairly dark in the entry of what looked like a palace but fires dancing by the walls lighted up the room. Lucifer momentarily stared at the human's fascination before sighing, already having decided to answer some of his questions. "You get three questions, what's your first one?"

Jeremy jumped slightly at his harsh voice echoing off the walls. He had so many questions and only choosing three seemed nearly impossible. The devil grew impatient fast and started walking away, his mind filled to the brim with cuss words about 'those bloody humans'. "Oh, ah— How does this whole room fit inside the small building?" Jeremy almost cussed himself, it wasn't a bad question but there were more important questions to be asked. The man started walking slower, allowing the boy to keep up with him. Abigor seemed to have disappeared.

"It was a portal, and this room is the entry to my palace so don't you dare make a mess or stray from me," he growled. Like a dog. Not that he'd ever voice those thoughts. Jeremy quickly nodded in confirmation and bit his lip when he got reminded of his clothing situation, "That's cool, um, so can I get something else to wear?" When Lucifer merely glanced in his direction and continued on, Jeremy felt like crying in utter frustration. "Fantastic."

Lucifer smirked, though the boy behind him couldn't see this thankfully, and they finally passed a hallway with a lot of doors, guards guarding every door, "Don't you ever go down this hallway, do you hear me?" His heart skipped a beat and he nodded furiously. They continued trough another door to yet another hallway. This place was huge and it seemed like it would never end but before he knew it, they turned right to a homey looking office with a desk in the middle and bookshelves covering the walls. There was an adjacent door to the room that led to a meeting room with a large oval wooden table.

Lucifer sat behind the desk and held a finger up when Jeremy tried to take a seat on the opposite side. Rude, he thought. He picked up a phone, said, "Come." –And instantly hanged up. A petite older woman gently knocked on the door before walking in, her eyes took in the scene but ended up on the man behind the desk, "What can I do for you?"

"Alessandra, have the human get another set of clothes," he replied with a light smile. It surprised Jeremy because his face was usually blank and stoic. Alessandra's eyes narrowed in on the little human's pants, "Oh, certainly, my lord." The elderly woman left the room only to appear again after a minute with a set of clothes in her frail hands. "Thank you, Alessandra, you may leave," Lucifer dismissed her as she bowed lightly before disappearing again. "She's my favourite maid, she works fast and does a good job."

Jeremy smiled slightly, but he didn't really listen, too intent on getting the clothes now resting on the oak desk. "Take it on," he commanded. The boy grabbed the clothes, a timid smile playing on his lips, "Where's the bathroom?" Lucifer almost snorted at his question before remembering that humans have different needs than demons do. Jeremy frowned at his reaction but remained silent none the less. "You can change here," he told him. Jeremy's mouth gaped open, "I'm not changing in front of you!" He said, horrified. The devil rolled his eyes before gesturing to the adjacent door, muttering something about humans being prudes.

When Jeremy came back into the office again in a new and clean set of clothes, he finally sat down in the chair. Silence filled the room, making Jeremy cringe at the awkwardness. "So... Who are you?" Jeremy asked. Lucifer looked him right in the eye and smirked, "I'm the devil, little human. I go by Lucifer Morningstar."

"Really?" Jeremy's voice screeched, the unintentional high pitch made his cheeks flush with colour. The devil seemed amused by his reaction but his amusement was cut short when the boy decided to open his mouth again, "You don't look like I expected you to."

"How did you expect me to look?"

"Red skin and horns perhaps... Oh and a tail," Jeremy chirped, chuckling a little at the end. Lucifer looked at him with his growing annoyance and frowned, "That's not funny, I should never have let TVs get invented. Now everybody expects me to look like a small, red gnome." The more Lucifer seemed to think about it, the more annoyed he grew, "Stupid humans." Jeremy decided to confront him, "You've said that a lot today but we can't all be that bad."

"I suppose you're right," he said, making Jeremy smile, "You're also good in bed." The boy's smile wiped off. That was not what he'd meant.

Silence seemed to creep back in the room, making Jeremy uncomfortable once again with the way Lucifer's eyes seemed to study him and his every move. "So to my other questions—" Lucifer quickly cut him off, "You've already used your three questions, I'm not Genie."

Jeremy gaped, "I did not! I still have two left." He sat upright in his seat, the padding creaking beneath him, while Lucifer sighed and folded his hands on top of the desk, "No, you asked about the portal, for clothes and then who I am," he said slowly as if he was explaining it to a child.

The boy's frustrations seeped through him again as he fought back the urge to cry. This was just ridiculous, and Lucifer agreed, people crying in situations like these made his skin crawl, it was much better when the cries came along with tortured screams. "Right, well, let's start our talk, what did you do before you died?"

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