Chapter 42 Part 1

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I hate Chapters like this. The older I get, the more I love my parents and anything otherwise makes me emotional. If this chapter is crap, trust me I'm drained of all emotion. I can't rewrite this stuff and not cry all over again.

I don't understand all the hate on Marcus. You've probably never had that friend you love and hate for being so blunt and frank in all things. How could you not see how loyal he is to his friends? So sad.

Father

I felt listless.

And that wasn't normal for me.

Scarlett Heloise Noble was, in fact, social. My circle of acquaintances spoke for themselves. There were a handful of people who knew me well enough. My professors trusted me to hand me responsibilities. And even to strangers, I could confidently string up an intelligent conversation without feeling drained.

But coming back to school after that Friday afternoon with the person I considered my best friend... was a drawback. A major one. I knew I shouldn't, but I was now reassessing myself as a person. I didn't sleep well this last weekend, and I wasn't emotionally well enough to 'hang out' with classmates.

So here I was. Groggy. Slightly—no, majorly off in ways I hadn't felt for so long. And having a feeling of split body and soul. I couldn't entirely focus on anybody as I passed people on the walkway to the Arts Department. My mind was so disarrayed that I felt like everyone was staring at me as I passed by.

And why would people do that?

The hands holding folders and folders of my final requirements felt cold and clammy. My brain was an eternal vacuum where thoughts may enter but get lost faster than I could grasp it. There was a low ringing in my ears, my vision was metaphorically tunneled. And my body was chilly, in a way the autumn breeze wasn't responsible for.

And I didn't hear the crunching gravel behind me at the approach of two sets of harried footsteps. My denim jacket was forcefully grabbed by the arm and I was whirled around to face two girls breathing heavily.

There was an annoyed look on Elise's red face, "Scarlett—! Oh, sorry!" My folders fell to a clutter on the pavements and the wind just had to blow at the right time to scatter the papers with it.

"Elise," Sienna whined, immediately running after the straying pieces of paper.

I paused at the strange sight before me. The two of them looked unsettled. But I was more concerned that the two of them were together even though our project was finished. I always thought they couldn't stand each other. Sienna and Elise were quite the opposites and they tended to clash.

I stooped down to help Sienna with my folders. The girl was futilely trying to return my things to order so I took them from her hands. Sienna repeatedly apologized on Elise's behalf as we stood up.

Elise huffed at Sienna, "Oh, forget that, you two! Sienna, stop diverting us from the topic!"

Sienna pushed her glasses up her nose, "Oh, right! Right!" She whipped in my direction, Scarlett, why are you on campus? Are you insane? People are crucifying you!"

I blanked. And that when the feeling came back.

Of strangers' eyes on me and I looked up.

Warning sirens shrieked at my suddenly awake mind.

Surely, just surely, eyes, hateful judgmental eyes were trained on me. It was as if I regained hearing, the insidious whispers were now hitting me full force. There were snickers behind cupped hands. And there were the wry looks and elbowing.

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