I Want Winter

Chapter 77

What does that mean "where it all began"?
I re-enter my room with my mind completely distracted, I then lean the red umbrella on the wall and settle down. I reach into my hair to find nothing but my hair. My eyes widen and my hand acts rationally by touching my entire head to feel nothing. I then used both hands to reach in my hair to again find nothing. "Where's my hairpin?" I said and got up, " did I drop it?'' I began to scavenge the room by going on my knees.

"Where did it go!" I was getting upset and frustrated. I lift everything to check if it was under anything and check every crack.
That was the only thing I had left of him...

"My lady?" Lin said and entered the room as broad daylight arrived. "What's got into you?" She said, worried. I didn't stop searching until Lin grabbed both of my wrists.
"Lin, I lost it!" I cry and collapse.

"My lady, what did you lose?" She said softly and kneeled beside me.
"The only thing I had left of him...." I sob as Lin hugs me.

Soon, Lin had put me to bed; however, I woke up as soon as possible to find it was afternoon. I scramble up and hurry to find it again.
"My lady?" Lin said and hurried to me and tried to stop me before I started up again.

"Lin, I need to find it," I pleased.

"Please, my lady. Can you at least take a walk to clear your head before you go on searching?" Lin tries to find any excuses to stop me as she looks deep in my eyes and I become silent. I nodded my head and left my room. Even though I was walking, my mind was distracted the entire time.

"My lady, how are you feeling?" Lin asked me, which I half listened to, "My lady?" Lin said once again.
"Huh?" I snap out.
Lin looked at me full of concern. I plaster a smile, "I'm feeling a lot better-, " before I stop speaking and froze in the middle of the pathway on a snowy day. There I saw the back of Ying Zhi as he was walking back to his court and a guard who had stopped him. Although I was far from them, I could hear them.

"Your highness, you dropped this just now," said the guard and handed a golden hairpin with purple beads dangling, which looked exactly like mine, to him. My eyes zoom in without blinking.
That's mine!
However, Ying Zhi didn't say anything but took the hairpin.
"Consort Qingyuan, will be happy," the guard assumed it was for Consort Qingyuan, but Ying Zhi did not answer. The guard bows his head and continues on.

"Um... My Lady, let's head back...," Lin tries to say.

I didn't say anything but watch him enter his court. My legs start heading to his court without me realizing it. "My Lady!" Lin tried to stop me, but my legs kept moving until I heard a woman voice calling his name as I knew who it was immediately, and I stopped beside his entrance. "4th Prince, I've been waiting for you," she said from afar.

"Lin, . . . let's head back," I said and forced my legs to go. I entered my room and sat on my bed with my mind completely out of it. Lin came and touched my hand as I also touched her hand.

I plaster a smile and said, "I'm fine."
It's okay. . . I don't belong here anyway. . . And when I go back I won't ever have to see him anymore. . .
I harden my heart.
I must find a way back home. What did the old man say again? "Where it all started"
What does that mean? Where it all started. . . I remember falling in ice and then drowning in water. Hmmm. . .

"My Lady?" Lin seems to be repeating that over and over.
"HUH?" I snap out, "Sorry, Lin. My mind is distracted."

"Do you want some tea? Or food?" Lin wanted to help me not to overthink.
I smiled and said, "Lin, I'm fine. You may go. I have some issues to deal with." Lin was reluctant to leave, but she did.
I sat there for a couple of minutes before I stood up and left the room. I walk towards a familiar area and enter to find no one in sight. I stood in front of the door and knocked on it.
"Come in," the familiar voice spoke. Once I opened the door, he said in a stern and unfriendly voice, "What brings you here?"

I showed no emotion and replied, "You have something that belongs to me."

"Quit your nonsense and leave," he ordered. I didn't have any tolerance today and marched to him before lifting his outer layer to the side and reaching in. "Preposterous!" His facial expression was bewildered and I pulled out my golden hairpin.

"This belongs to me," I said and showed him the hairpin.

"How do you know it's your for sure," he barked before snatching it back.

"HEY!" I shot back and glared at him. "I just know it's mine and where did you find it cause I lost it yesterday," I said.

"Really, why is this so important to you," he said.
"Someone important gave it to me," I answered back and stared at him.

"Oh, was that the 3rd Prince? Huh?" He said, somewhat irritated before getting up.

I looked at him and thought I don't have time for this before firmly saying, "Yes."

"And now you finally admit to the truth," he said.

"*Sigh* Yes, I admit whatever you say, so can I have my hairpin back," I said, getting tired of this.

"Wow, you must really love the 3rd Prince," he continued to add oil to the fire in my heart. I then yank the hairpin away from him and swiftly turn to the doors and chuck it outside in the snow.
I don't need this anymore. . . If I actually want to give up on you. . .
He was shocked and had no words to say.
I walked out of the room before stopping and saying, "Oh, if you don't want the hairpin in your court. Don't worry once the snow melts and the water has thawed out, the hairpin has probably sunk to the bottom of the pond."