We Will Shine {Book 6 in the Star of Gryffindor Series}

Chapter 40 - The Clouds Begin to Part

~Astra~

I spent the entire night debating whether I should write to my father and ask for his side of the story. Was that something he wouldn't want to think about, let alone tell me about? Probably. But did I need to know?

Probably?

By morning, I wanted someone else's opinion. The day before, I'd mentioned to Albus, James, and Colette what Haverna had told me, but hadn't really wanted to talk about it much then. Now, I couldn't seem to find anyone. James was meeting with River before breakfast to work on some new beater strategies she'd pulled from video games. Colette was off to find Haverna to figure out a good time to work on her spell. Albus and Wren were in a corner, whispering frantically about who knew what. They were late to breakfast, and went to go talk to Ciara Malfoy of all people. I didn't know when they'd stopped hating her, of course, but I was too distracted to really worry about it.

Unfortunately, everyone seemed above averagely busy for the rest of the day. Of course we had classes, but then after class Colette disappeared to work on her spell, and we had Quidditch practice. After that, James was off to bed Mackenzie for help on an essay, and Albus and Poppy always spent Friday evenings together. The only person who seemed available was Wren, but I found I didn't really know what to say to her, which was unsettling. It's not like I didn't think she'd have good advice, because I knew she would. She always did. I just didn't want her to try and make the best of it all, I guess, and that's what she always did. There wasn't a best here. I definitely didn't want to listen to her try to figure out what it was.

We did homework together until dinner. She only asked how I was doing once, and when I said "fine," she left me alone. She seemed a little distracted herself, but I can't say I minded. She hardly noticed when I left dinner early to get to detention.

When I walked into Haverna's office, she was sitting at her desk staring into space. I hesitated at the door for a moment, but she looked up, moving her head a little bit as if shaking off thoughts. "Astra, I wanted to apologize. I shouldn't have told you that, about your father."

I shrugged. "It's fine," I said dully.

"No, it's not." She motioned to one of the chairs next to me, and I sat down. I hoped this counted as part of my detention. "I don't think you were ready to handle that kind of news. That wasn't the time, or the place, or the way you should have found out." She pursed her lips for a moment. "Will you forgive me?"

I'd been poised to say "it's fine," again, but I paused. Forgive her? It kind of felt like she'd ruined my life, and I hadn't even known I'd had anything left to ruin. I shrugged. "I... I don't know."

"That's all right. You don't need to, not yet."

She smiled wistfully. It almost felt like she didn't entirely hate me, which was weird. I squirmed uncomfortably in my seat. "Can we just get on with detention? I have homework to do after this."

"Right, of course." Haverna stood up. "I think polishing trophies until 8 would suffice."

It beat reshelving books. I followed her downstairs to the trophy room, and acted like I'd never been forced to polish trophies before as she explained what I needed to do. Then she left, and I sighed and sat down on the floor. It would be a long night.

I'd gotten about halfway through one shelf, and was thoroughly hating my life, when suddenly everything seemed eclipsed by a peaceful feeling. Oh crap, I thought, then my alarm was washed over by the tranquility of not thinking. I sat there for a moment, not feeling anything except vaguely happy, then a familiar voice told me to stand up.

No, no, no, no, no! I thought as I stood up. The alarm was back. Good! It needed to stay! How could I make it stay? Even as I was trying to figure that out, it was disappearing, replaced by the voice telling me to drop the rag and the trophy and leave.