I Can't Lose You [Supercorp] COMPLETED

Chapter 15

3:27AM

Again. Another nightmare. This couldn't be better. All I see is her face, it won't go away.

Her smile. Her eyes. Her.

I want it to stop. I need it to stop.

I can't let this be constant. Maybe I should call Alex? Who am I kidding. It's 3am. She won't be awake. I guess I'll need to figure something out on my own.

I lean over to turn my lamp on, I take out the book from the drawer and I open it.

Page One. Part One.

Dear Diary,

I've known Lena for five months now. She's my best friend and I ADORE her. I can just be Kara Danvers with her. I don't have to be Supergirl. I can just be Kara.

Lena is a beautiful soul, she makes me feel like nothing is wrong in the world. She's amazing. From what she's gone through since she was younger makes me sympathetic. But she is so strong and I am so proud of her. She deserves the whole world.

I have to be honest I don't think I've ever loved someone as much as I have Lena. Wait. I just said the l word. Wow, okay. Let's ignore that, anyways, I don't think I have, I'm not going to lie. What isn't there to love about Lena. She's a genius, she's funny, she's beautiful She's everything. She is absolutely perfect. She thinks the Luthor name puts a bad mark on her, which in a way it does because of the press, her brother, mother. But it's also in a good way, she's changing the Luthor name to be a force for good. She is good. I think deep down she knows that she is, she just doesn't want to believe it. Lee really doesn't know how good she is.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I read those last sentences. I don't deserve Kara. I never deserved her. She was too good for this world. She was too good for me.

I read and I read until I fell asleep and I guess woke up to my alarm.

6:00AM

Tangled up in my sheets, and still thinking about her.

It doesn't feel real. The fact that she's gone. I mean, why would it? We had our differences when it was myself and Supergirl, but when it was Kara, not Supergirl. Things were different with Kara. We were happy, that was until she told me her secret.

Don't get me wrong I know everyone has secrets. But Kara having one, especially when it was that secret.. it hurt me. I confided in her that everyone in my past had betrayed me. And then she betrayed me too. To have someone you love lie to you and betray you, it hurts a lot. Puts you in pain you never thought you'd be in. Essentially begging them not to violate your trust, begging them not to prove once again that you are a fool, it agonises you. And then proves you can't trust anyone again.

Kara made me feel that way. It might've not been her intention but it still happened.

Despite it, she's gone. I miss her. I do. It sounds selfish, and narrow minded but a part of me still hates her for what she did. She literally died thinking I didn't love her anymore. That's one thing I can never take back. I wish I could. But I can't.

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sorry for such a late update. my exams have been stressing me out for ages lol. hope you enjoy. thanks for 9k reads! - j x