The Gentle Giant

Equal

Hazel's POV

We sit in silence for a moment.

Master seems completely confused and lost. I don't blame him. It must be odd to hear from a submissive that they desire to be equal sometimes.

"Equal?" He repeats, verifying the assumption I made that he was flabbergasted that I mentioned equality between us.

"Not all the time," I say, knowing that it would be unreasonable—incredibly so—to request such a thing.

"Is this normal?" His brows are furrowed deeply and I feel bad as I notice his disheveled appearance.

A small smile breaks across my face. "Wanting to be equal sometimes?" I ask him.

"All of it. Hazel... equal? How... what..." He sighs, still looking completely lost.

"Sorry I brought it up," I apologize, turning my attention back to Blue. I shouldn't have said anything about it. He seemed lost enough with everything else in the situation.

"Hazel...Doll. I'm a little lost at the moment." I tilt my head to the side, watching as he moves his massive frame to stand up.

He paces around the room, deep wrinkles ingraining themselves between his brows. "You want to be my equal?" He asks, seeming incredibly uncomfortable by the suggestion.

"Not all the time. I just want you to...." I cut myself short.

I just want you to respect me.

I just want him to respect me enough to let me use his name. I know titles are important to dominants, but I like Axel and I thought he really liked me too. Not every dominant makes their submissive their life partner, but he has been acting and talked like that is what was gonna happen. Life partners are equal aren't they? They share a life, they are partners and partners are on the same level with each other. Partners are friends, they can use each other's names, they can have fun together.

Axel doesn't see me as that though. He doesn't see me as a partner, he sees me as an inferior.

That hurts a lot.

It may not have hurt so badly if we hadn't been getting close and spending so much time together, but we have and just when I get comfortable with him, he turns on me.

He wants me to be comfortable with him to sleep together, but he doesn't want me comfortable and close enough to call him by name.

"You just want me to what?" He asks me softly, pausing in his pacing. I look away and we both remain silent. "Love you like that? Intimately? Is that it?"

Tears well up in my eyes and it feels like he's just rubbing salt in my wounds now.

"Oh, Doll. I do. I do love you."

"Not like that though," I say.

"Yes I do. I mean. It may be a little different from what some people may view it as, but you addressing me with a title is just to show respect. It doesn't mean I don't love you."

I shake my head no. He is wrong. I don't say that about my Master often, but it is true. "It is different."

"How is it different?" He asks me softly.