21.) Feeling Better

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I woke up with sore eyes and a hungry stomach. According to my phone, it was seven at night and I had multiple new texts and calls. No doubt, Jackson told Libby what had happened, which explains why I have so many messages from her. I turned off my phone before standing up, completely exhausted. With a second thought, I sat back down with my back aching due to a two hour nap on the closet floor.

I wanted food, but every bone in my body ached from the bone crushing sobs I’d gone through before I was able to fall asleep.

I just sat up and leaned against the wall of my closet while clinging Boyce close to me. I don’t know why just the mention of my mom brings me to a breakdown. She died when I was little, but it was all my fault. Maybe it’s the guilt that kills me every time somebody brings her up. Because I practically killed her.

And then the fact that I had a fight with Jackson didn’t really make my mood any better. I absolutely hated fighting with him, we never fight. Ever.

I jumped when I heard a grunt coming from outside my balcony and then the glass door sliding open. I looked up to see Ryder stumbling into the closet and scanning the room to find me.

“Did you climb up here?” I asked incredulously.

He smiled at me and moved to sit beside me, but keeping his distance. “Yep.” He chirped.

“W-why?” I croaked, making sure that my face was clear from any evidence of crying, even though I was sure my red eyes were a clear give away.

“Well, Jackson told us about what happened.”

“So?” I mumbled. "We had a fight, that's what siblings do."

"Not you two. Normal siblings, like me, Kale, and Andy, yeah. We fight. But you and Jackson aren't normal brother and sister. You're a lot closer than most families and I'm sure a lot of people are jealous of that. Maybe even me just a little bit. And I know that you two will work this out easily, but I also know that this is hard for you." He spoke softly.

"Why you?" I asked, not meeting his intense gaze.

“You see, Jackson also said that you need your time to cool off. Kale respects that, but I’m not as patient.” He explained. “Holly, Kale really likes you, it’s pretty damn obvious. He really cares about you, so being the older brother, I have to care about you too.”

I rolled my eyes. “So touching.” I muttered sarcastically.

“I know.” He said with a small smirk. “So let’s go get dinner then.”

“I’m not going out there.” I snapped. “I don’t want to.”

“Well, everybody’s worried about you and Jackson feels bad and Kale’s worried. They’re all a mess, really.” He told me.

“I look stupid.” I mumbled.

“Nobody cares what you look like. They just want to make sure you’re okay.” He paused for a minute and grabbed my hand, helping me up to my feet. “Are you okay?”

I shrugged. “I guess I don’t really have a choice.”

What Ryder did next really surprised me. I didn't see it coming at all.

He hugged me tightly.

I laid my head on his chest and sucked up the tears threatening to come out when I realized that I needed to stop crying. It didn’t matter how I felt, the people around me were worried. I put a smile on my face and hoped that it shined to my eyes as I looked up at Ryder.

“Thanks.” I whispered. No denying it, his hug did make me feel a lot better.

He nodded and gently kissed my forehead before leading me to the closet door and smoothly unlocking it.

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