Beautifully Broken

- 25 -

I've been listing to the same dumb ass water drip on the cement floor for what seems like hours now. I can't see anything. Nothing is over my head, it's just dark.

I'm angry

Angry at Cole

Angry at that bitch

Angry at myself

I'm angry

I can't help but replay my earlier actions trying to see what I could have done. What did I do wrong? What red signs did I miss? With every question, I come up with a blank answer.

"Fuck!" I scream into the wall.

Why do I even try with life anymore?

Every time something goes right. It's stripped away from me. Every time I feel like my life doesn't completely suck and it's worth living. It kicks me right in the ass with a 'Bitch you thought' to go with it. If there is a God, the bastard has a sense of humor.

What am I living for?

My inconsistent brother?

A man that's probably sick and tired of having to always take care of me?

Am I living to prove to my mother that I'm not a piece of shit? She doesn't care. She's dead.

Maybe I'm living for my father - to prove that I can be just as backstabbing as him.

The door cracks, my eyes wavering to the small but bright light. The figure is exposed when they flick the light on.

Amber

"Rise and shine, beautiful," She sings. I notice the large plate of eggs and bacon that she has paraded in her hands.

I groan in response.

"I brought you some breakfast," She smiles brightly. Holding the plate in front of me. I still don't reach for it.

"Come on, Rose," She pouts, "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day,"

"Go fuck yourself." I spit, reaching to knock the plate out of her hand.

The glass shatters, spewing the yellow fluffy eggs everywhere. Her face doesn't falter in the slightest. She still holds that condescending grin.

"You've always been so pretty," She takes her hand, caressing my cheek.

"What do you want?" 

Her face drops into a snarl. Dragging my hair to a chair in the middle of the damp cell. A firm jab is placed on my chin. It hurts like hell, but I don't mind. It's been the only form of physical feeling I've had in hours.

"You almost ruined it all," She laughs, sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of my chair. "Well, I guess you did. Soon Cole will notice you're missing and they'll get the whole gang to be on their way,"

She stands, her back is now facing me. A thousand escape plans running through my head. Zero of them I find logical. 

"But you see the problem is. They'll be too late," She turns around with a cart full of things.

Torture isn't so fun when you're in the chair - Son of a bitch

"Is this part in the movie when the bad guy tells his whole plan right before the good guy escapes?" I try to muster up a smile, spitting blood from the small cut in my mouth. "Because we can just skip the confession and get right to the escape part if you'd prefer,"

Another hit, but this one is on the cheek.

"I'm going to enjoy this."

***

The beating she gave me is not the worst I've ever received. That doesn't mean I still don't feel like shit. I think I would take her hits over my mother's any day. Something seems impersonal about Amber's hit, which feels better on my thoughts.

Amber doesn't beat me because she hates me, that's what makes it bearable.

"You're a good person, Rose," Amber states as she cleans off the knife that just went into my thigh, "If only things were different,"

She sighs longingly while packing up the rest of her things and making her way to the door.

"I can't believe you would do all of this just because Cole wasn't interested in you anymore," My head drops.

I'm tired, just tired

Amber stops dead in her tracks, tilting her head as she turns slowly to face me, "That's why you think I did it?"

I pick my head up to meet her eyes.

"Oh no," She smiles, "Rose I did it for you,"

"Sure, I was upset after he ended it, but Cole was just a dick to ride on," She snorts, "I never officially worked at the club. The night we met I was on a mission to kill one of the men that attended it. Then I saw you,"

She sets her box down.

"Big brown doe eyes, confused and warm. You had that small tight black skirt on and the red lace corset."

She gets behind me, hands on my shoulders slowly inching down.

"You looked delicious that evening," She kisses my right ear.

"I picked up a beer and asked if you needed help," She backs away from me, now circling the chair, "Every day for 3 years, I've waited for you to feel the same flame for me that I do for you,"

"Then the minute Cole - motherfucking - Black walks into the room, you fall head over heels." She throws one of the knives from the box against the wall. It bounces loudly. It's a lonely sound. Knowing that she probably won't pick it up when she's done. It'll stay right in the corner with no purpose.

Like me

"We could have been something extraordinary," She seethes at me.

"How can you hate me for falling for a man you fell for as well," I tug at my tied hands, "If I recall correctly Braxton felt the same way about you. Only he died for you,"

The flicker in her eye tells me she knew of Braxton's feelings.

"I fucked him too" She smiles, "I had to after I was fake working in his club. Don't get me wrong - he was an okay guy. I just had to fuck him and then I could do whatever I wanted to in his club,"

"The talk of love gets complicated. He, unfortunately, has never been shown true affection so getting him to 'love' me was easy,"

I shake my head, "My heart feels for you, but we could have never been,"

"And why is that?"

"Your barks bigger than your bite," My grin was annoying, but the small rise of anger on her face was worth whatever will happen next.

She tugs at the ropes around my wrist. Taking an identical knife to the one on the floor and cuts it. I move to get up quickly. My butt doesn't even get off the chair before she pushes me back. Her slap throws my head to the side.

I think the bitch gave me whiplash

She takes my face into her hand, placing her lips on mine. The kiss wasn't romantic or slow. It was fast-paced, wet, and hard. I felt my teeth clash with hers.

The reason Cole ended it wasn't because he didn't want to fuck a gang member. It's because she kisses like an inexperienced angry toddler.

She pulls back with the same condescending annoying damn grin that I've had to look at for hours.

"We're going to have fun together," She smirks, turning around with the box and exiting the small cell. The light shuts off once more.

And I'm in the dark, back where I started again.

I need to get the fuck out of here