Rejected and pregnant (#1)

Chapter twenty two

I have been pacing in the living for couple of hours now debating with myself.

You see the right thing to do is go and visit my brother now that he is out of coma. Have a nice family reunion, tell him I forgive and allow him to get to know his nephew and niece as well as me. The new me. That is my good, sensible and probably right side speaking.

On the other side, my stubborn, lying, coward side is telling me to do what I am great at. What I literally have an A star on which is to run away. Go back to moonlight pack and stay there.

I packed my bags and spoke to my pack. I could see that Cole was a bit disappointed in me but he tries not to show it. Mi na and Dylan were cool with it, Dylan even offered to drop me there but I declined.

Cole being disappointed in me cut deep. I don't think he truly cares about me training Red wood. I know that my groups knows what to focus on and Dylan offered to take them in his group but I know they're probably spilt them into different groups.

Cole was disappointed because he believed that I should tell Calvin about the twins. I knew he got the chance to get to know Calvin and even happened to like him. Not going to lie, the childish side of me sees this as betrayal. He hasn't said much but I could just tell. For the past few days, he has been hinting that I should let it slip about the twins but he doesn't know how difficult and complicated this shit got.

So I'm ducking out. Without telling my best friend because I can't have her disappointed with me too. I know she wants me to tell Tom that I'm alive but I can't face him. I forgive him. I do. And I'm so glad he's awake but I just can't face him.

She's just gonna have to get over it. I wrote both of them letters. I gave them to Mi na and told her to give it to them in few days when I am far away from them. In Amy's letter, I reminded her to not tell Calvin and Tom about me being Blair. The last thing I want is both to visit me.

"Mama is Liam coming back with us?"my son asks me.

I zone back to reality. I shake my head and walk to my son who is sitting on the couch staring up at me whilst I pace.

"No sweetie. He's going to come back in couple of weeks"I tell him.

"I'm going to miss here"Lily says pouting.

"Me too. Mama I don't wanna go" Cameron's voice is breaking as he says them making me feel even more shit.

"We have to."I reply.

"But why?"he sulks.

-but why indeed. Love that boy. Asks the right question-

I ignore both of them and before placing on my perfect smile.

"Come on. Let's go"

I walk towards the door, grabbing what is left of our things since I already packed most of our stuff in the car already.

It's good bye. I'm never going to come back. No matter what.

I needed to come back. It was something that I needed to do. Redwood always gave me a bitter feeling whenever I thought of it but this trip helped me gain that closure I needed to. I kicked my biggest bully's ass. I earn the respect of most of the pack. I can't believe I'm going to say this but I truly enjoyed my time here. Now when I think of Redwood, I would think of good thoughts.

My mind slowly slips to Calvin. His smiles, grins and even his brooding looks. All I would miss. Calvin has shown a different side to him this trip. I have seen that he could be sweet, humble and amazing. I know he could be a good father from what I have seen. I just can't allow myself to get hurt again.