I'll Keep This Secret For You

Chapter 113

"You sure it's going to have worked?" You look at Howard unsurely where he stands beside you looking intently through the glass into the small room in front of you guys.

"If it hasn't then I don't know what else to try." He shakes his head and shrugs. "She's the best psychologist in the country. If anyone can hack into that brain of his it'll be her."

"She might be a good psychologist but is she going to be safe in there if it hasn't worked once those trigger words have been said?" Steve asks worriedly from beside you.

You look over at him to find that he is intently watching the situation unfolding in front of you, his brow creased in concentration as his eyes scan every single inch, every single movement from within that room.

You hate what you see in there but you can't help but watch. Bucky is strapped into a hospital bed type thing with thick restraints on his arms, legs, torso and head. It reminds you of when he first came back. When he was still the Winter Soldier, unstable, erratic and untrusting, terrified out of his mind like a tiny little animal.

The psychologist stands on the complete opposite side of the room, clipboard in hand. She's been working with Bucky for the past few weeks now. You have no idea what she's been doing, Bucky won't tell you anything about it which is frustrating to say the least but you can also understand why; it must be so hard for him. Some days when he came home he seemed fine, others ecstatically positive and over the moon... but then others again he's been in an almighty grump. You just assume it depends on how well things went depending on the day and how much progress they had made in his sessions, or therapy, or whatever the he'll it is that they're doing.

Some type of reverse psychology is what Howard explained it to be.

"The door is right there." Howard assures Steve. "If he does flip, by the time he's managed to get out of his restraints she'll be out of the room. He was stalled for a good few seconds trying to get out of them last week."

Oh yeah, that's the other thing. They tried this last week too and it didn't work. He got triggered as easily as ever and completely lost it. Steve wasn't here that time so did see it though. All you could do was watch in horror as he ran around the room, slamming into the walls, roaring and screaming, trying to break out. They wanted to wait until he calmed down and tired himself out to see if they could talk to him as the Winter Soldier and see if that made a difference. But after an hour they ended up having to emit a gas through the air vents of the room to knock him out so that someone could go in and hit him on the head.

You couldn't watch that part. Surely that can't be good for him but it's the only way that they can find to snap him out of it.

Of course all of this makes you even more nervous for today. You don't want to have to see that happen ever again.

There are speakers in the room so that you can hear everything being said.

"So Bucky, are you ready to try this again?" She asks.

He nods rigidly, staring up at the ceiling in concentration, clearly full of nerves.

"Okay, just tell if at any stage you want to stop," she says in a soft voice.

"Just do it. I just want these gone and over with." Bucky snaps through gritted teeth.

As she starts to speak, you feel your heart start to race with anticipation, terrified yet so hopeful at the same time.

Still none of you can figure out what they mean but clearly they mean something to be able to do what they do to your poor Bucky.

"*Longing, rusted, seventeen, daybreak, furnace, nine, benign, homecoming, one, freight car.*" She lists them off slowly, never taking her eyes off of Bucky... just like you.