What Your Eyes Tell +Satzu-Dahmo

Cap 33

Tzuyu pov

"psssshhhhh....... Momo unnie" I whispered but she wasn't waking up.
I shook her a few times and finally she woke up.

"uhhhhh" she groaned "what do you want?"

"shhhhh...." I warned her because she could wake Dahyun "we need to talk"

"at this hour?" she asked

"it's 12 pm. RememberI told you before at dinner?"

"ah right." she stood up slowly and took her coat "let's go" she said still sleepy.

Yesterday when I came back it was all normal. The members asked me a few questions, all I answered was fine without adding any details. They didn't mention abiut the cameras so I think they wanted it to be a secret but unfortunately for them it isn't anymore.

Momo and I planned to meet at the roof at 11:30 pm to talk because I need to tell her something. But as you see she was asleep so I needed to wake her up.

Outside was cold but nothing we couldn't bear.

"what do you want to talk about?" she asked a bit sleepy.

"first do you want something to drink?" I asked seeing maybe it could help her. She nodded and I took 2 beers

"already alcohol?" she chuckled

"hehehe.... Do you want something else? "

"no no it's fine. Now start to talk before I fell asleep again"

"I still didn't tell you where I was the other night" I said

"right, I forgot. Where were you?"

"I was.... I was at Lucas's house."

"uhu? There was another celebration?"

"no..... It was only the two of us" I mumbled

"what?I can't hear you if you talk like this"

"we were alone" I looked at her "just him and I. Alone"

"what aren't you telling me?"

"don't get angry but..... We are more than friends"

"are you dating?!" she wided her eyes

"No! We..... Oh God it's so embarrassing" I said looking at the sky "we are friends with benefit"
She didn't say nothing. Her mouth was open but no words escape from it

"fr-frien-friends wi-with b-ben-benefit?" she asked and I nodded "so that's me and you two have se----"

"yes"

"TZUYU!!" she yelled suddenly scaring me "are you insane?!"

"it was his idea!" I lower my head

"but you accepted!" she shouted again before taking a few long breathes "you know it can be dangerous so why did you accept? "

"he said it could help me with moving on"

"and it's working?!"

"I...... I don't know"

"what you don't know?! Do you still have feelings for Sana?" she wondered

"I think yes but I don't know. It's complicated" I teared "I don't know unnie. I don't know if what I did was right. I don't know if I moved on. I don't know" I cried

"Tzu...." she hugged me "why are you doing it if it's creating a mess?"

"because it felt good." I said looking at her and she made a strange face "not the sex I mean. It feels good to have someone who care for me more than just as a friend. He is always so caring and he makes me laugh when I'm sad. He always knows if I'm sad or lying. It's...... It's how it was at first with her" I sobbed "unnie I don't know what to do. I don't know if I still love her. I know it hurts every time I see her. I know I would cry the night but..... When I'm with him the pain is less. When he cares for in my mind there's not only her imagine but also something else that I can't figured out. Unnie, what do I do? Why am I feeling like this? Why it's so complicated? Why?"

"Tzuyu" she put my head in her shoulder " I don't know. It's something you need to discover. I can tell you what I'm thinking but maybe I'm wrong. It's all in you. You know the answer just you need to understand it" she caressed my back slowly

"what do you think, unnie?" I asked like a little child and she giggled

"you said it still hurts to be with her and near her, so I think you still have feelings for her" she said "and for Lucas? Well I totally disagree what you are doing. I know maybe you aren't noticing it but you are using him as a rebound"

"I.... i - -"

"let me finish." she interrupted me "he is gentle with you and all, and you are developing some new feelings for him. I don't want to say you have a crush on him but it could be. Your heart is broken and he is trying to fix it, that's why you are feeling confused."

"but unnie, I can't love two people at the same time"

"I know. That's why I told you it's something you have to came up with. I can't tell you who you love. There are differents kind of love and it's on you to decide where to put them."

"I don't understand. All I felt as love was with Sana. She was all I had and all I wanted and needed" a few tears rolled down my cheeks " but with Lucas it's different. I feel I don't want to loose him but.... I don't know"

"Tzu. Don't stress yourself, with time you will find the answer" she smiled

"unnie what is the love you have with Dahyun?" her face suddenly changed "did I say something wrong?"

"no..... It's just....." her eyes were watery

"unnie something is wrong?" I asked worried as I saw her wiping the tears

"can we change part? Now will you be the unnie and will listen to me?" she asked sobbing

"of course. Always I will help you " I hugged her "there are issues between you and Dahyun?"

"she..... She isn't with me anymore"

"did you break up?!" I shouted

"no, but it felt like it. She is always less with me and..... She never worry about me"

"what are you talking about?"

"one time i was arguing with Sana and we chased around. Meanwhile Jeongyeon was cleaning. The floor was wet and both of us fell. All came running at us" she looked at me "but Dahyun didn't even look at me, only at Sana. All her worries were about how Sana was and if she hurt herself, but what about me? I also fell but she didn't care" she cried in my shirt "I felt invisible"

"did you tell her?"

"I tried but she didn't listen to me. She was angry because it was my fault Sana hurt herself"

"unnie..... You need to talk about it. I don't want you to be in my same situation after"

"Tz-tzuyu" she sobbed

"I know unnie. Don't think about it, okay? You will see with time all will be okay" or at least I hope I though.

"I hope Tzu. I'm hoping " her voice was unstable

"do you want to go back? It's getting cold"

"no. Let's stay here a few more" she hugged me tightly. And that's how our night went.

After 30 minutes we were both freezing and went back in. She thanked me and slowly walked back to her room.

I looked at her before heading to the couch. I didn't feel going to the bed.

I stayed up for 2 hours thinking of what we talked about. About Lucas, Momo situation with Dahyun and...... About Sana.

I know I still have feelings for her it's just too hard to let them go. It's..... It's the last thing I have that connects me to her.