Haunteds

Chapter 20

I remembered the mother whose son was killed in front of her by the fearful mob. My thoughts immediately went to my parents. I imagined my mom, the face she would make as she pleads my abusers to stop. I imagined my father. He wasn't much, physically speaking, but he's the type who wouldn't go down without a fight. Besides, he's got a nine-millimeter hidden beneath their bed. I stumbled upon it once when I was looking for my shoes. I imagined him shooting at the mob as they drag me out of the house. And the mob returned fire.

I imagined the shootout, how horrible it would be to be in the middle of it. Bullets would be flying over my head. The gunshots would be unbearable up close, just like last night with the Shade. Then, I imagined the worst that would happen. I see my dad falling to the ground. My mom, crying over his body. The last thing I would see before the mob turned to me. I gripped the edge of my seat hard that I feared blood may have stopped flowing into my hands. No parents should be made to suffer through all that. Especially not mine.

"That's illegal now, isn't it?" Demi asked. "I mean, not that mob killing was ever legal."

"Yes, but given our city's history, we should prepare for the worst," Major Coleman said.

Cato cleared his throat. "Still, it's too much of a change. This could be something else; something that didn't exist in the last decades."

"Indeed," Major Coleman said. His face was unreadable, making me question myself if I can really trust this guy. Maybe he knew something that we don't and suspected this might happen. Or maybe he's just used to dead bodies since his a) soldier and b) had been working here for years. Or maybe I'm just so tired and hungry and freaked out that I was starting to doubt everything and everyone. Or most probably, I'm distracting myself from the fact Leo won't talk to me, won't even look at me because his best friend died because of me.

"If this thing really is capable of rational thought,"  Major Coleman said. "What it did last night, throwing pieces of wood to destroy the lights, eliminating my men first, seeing them as threats. It almost thinks like a human being, wouldn't you agree?"

"Seems like it," Cato said matter-of-factly.

"The way I see it, we have two options" Major Coleman said. "Either find out what caused the changes to the Shade and undo it or establish new rules. Both require your participation."

"What!" Cana cried, jumping up from her seat. "You mean you still plan on sending us out there? After last night?"

"It doesn't matter what I plan to do," Major Coleman said. "If the Shade appeared again tonight, and we have no reason to assume otherwise, it will come for each one of you. That, I assure you, have not changed."

Cana sat down. I couldn't think of anything she can say to that. 

"I realize that you've been through a lot," Major Coleman continued. "But please understand, if we don't find a way to deal with this situation, a repeat of the Dark Year would be the least of our problems. Our only hope right now is to figure out this new Shade and make the necessary preparations. Because, evidently, last night..."

He paused, his face darkened. "We cannot stop it."

"But we did stop it." Demi said, looking around. "Right?"

"We got lucky." Major Coleman countered.

The rest of us remained quiet. We all know that he's right. That it was up to us to save ourselves. That we shouldn't be worried of something so far from the future like another Dark Year if we weren't even going to survive the night.

I dug my nails on the bottom side of the table. I want to scream. I want to just run out of the dorm and take all my frustrations out of a tree. Kick it. Shout at it. Rip its bark. All the guilt. All the rage I'm feeling. The helplessness.

Whatever hope I had left in me was gone now, knowing that we're about to undertake something that has never been done before, that failure means death, and that we only have half a day till it's evening again. But what can we do? What choice do we have but to literally die trying?

Indigo was the first to break the silence. "B-but...where would we even start?"

"If we're going to do this," I said, keeping my head down. "We're going to need everything you have Major. All the way up from the first haunting."

"Hmm. I'll make arrangements. Major Coleman said. "For now, we need to go."

"Go, sir?" Demi asked.

"You'd be in the way once the repairs have started. We'll need another place," he explained. "Clean up and be ready to leave when I come back."

Everyone went to their rooms to get ready. I took a quick shower and slid on a pair of black, slim-fit jeans and a plain, gray polo shirt. I towel-dry most of my hair and let the rest dry in the air as I went out. I didn't run into anyone. They're probably still in the shower. Some might be already downstairs. Whichever works for me, because I wanted to talk to Leo alone.

His door was already open. I looked inside.

"Hey," I said.

He didn't answer, didn't even look at me. He was sitting on his bed, absent-mindedly staring at the floor. He kept strumming the chorus to Taylor Swift's and Ed Sheeran's Everything Has Changed on his acoustic guitar.

I decided to wait for a while and look around.

Except for the Ed Sheeran poster on his wall, his room is pretty much the same as mine. Wondered why he even bothered bringing a poster, we'll only be here for a month. If...we're lucky. Although, he did a good job cleaning up his room. He made his bed. Dirty clothes were all in a mesh, laundry basket.

I forced myself to look at him. He was in a simple long sleeve shirt, the three buttons undone. His hair was tousled and wet. The guy who was so conscious of his hair that he brings his own hand mirror with him, is letting others see him like this and not care. I bit my lip. The guilt forced me to lower my head.

I have to say something. I thought.

But tell him what exactly? That I'm sorry for his loss? That I'm sorry his best friend died because of me? Words are not coming to me right now. In the end, I was only able to say two words.

"I'm sorry."

But he still kept playing, still, he refused to say anything, so I took that as a sign to leave and turned around.

The strumming stopped. "It wasn't your fault."

I whipped around, confused. And a little bit relieved. All right, a lot relieved. But still, I don't understand. "But I thought—last night—"

"I wasn't angry at you," he said. He finished the song and put down his guitar on his bed.

"I was"—he leaned over, burying his face in his hands—"angry at myself."

I leaned on the doorway, waiting for him to continue. "She was always like that. Always doing the first thing that pops in her head...always making me deal with the trouble she caused."

I guess I wouldn't know that about Eris. But I did noticed that about her, like that night with Mr. Donovan...I don't really know what to say to that so I just shut up and wait for him to continue.

"I knew that," Leo continued. "But I didn't pay attention. She was just right there, right next to me. And I let her die."

"That's not true," I said. "If anything, it's my fault. She wouldn't have to do that if I..."Shame made the words caught stuck in my throat. "Didn't freeze."

Leo didn't say anything. But tears started rolling down the side of his face again.

"Leo, if there's anything I can do..."

"There is," he said. He stood up and walked up to me. "Do what you do best. Study the Shade. Keep us alive." His eyes were angry, but this time, I don't think they're meant for me.

Suddenly, I felt like a bag full of bricks was strapped down my shoulders. I emptied my lungs with a long, drawn-out breath.

"You got it," I said, looking him squarely in the eyes. I'm not so sure about this but what else can I say? It's not like I have any other choice. We need to figure this one out if we want to survive tonight.