When You're Ready

~The Emotions In The Interviews~

Shawn's P.O.V.

This year started with a great start, there were so many companies and brands who's asking me to model their brand, promote their advertisement and offering me incentives that would benefit me. There were so many things Andrew and the team planned for this year but they did gave me time to rest and prepare for whatever may come. Since my album will be released this year, preferably May to also go with the theme of the album I did. There were flowers on the part of my face and it just really looks beautiful to not take that idea and put it in my album. I released some songs with the hue and background of flowers, each song as each color and each flower that would very much represent the whole concept or just made it match since it's beautiful.

February somehow, I got the shock of my life, it was something I really did not expect to hear and see the moment I woke up in the morning but I guess it's just the way it is. There were several articles and pictures of Camila being seen with a love dating instructor Matthew Hussey. It's really been a while since Camila and I had texted each other and she never mentioned meeting someone like that, at first I thought it was just a hoax or rumors howver the moment my eyes saw the pictures taken in a beach in Miami I just knew that it was the truth.

To say that I was hurt was an understatement however I felt more dejected, lost hope because I realized that I should've said something, I should've told her beforehand and not just keep it inside me. The feelings that I've been harbouring and keeping away from someone should be that bridge to bring us close together, I should've told her the first time I realized that I loved her so I can have her, at least let her know what I truly could feel of her. I should've made a move to let her know that I don't look at her as just a friend, it may have so many risks but I'm regretting not doing it all, not riskingit all if this is what happens, if I would find her in the rms of another man tht hopefully would've been me if I tried and confessed.

I wouldn't be able to do anything even though I regretted not confessing, I guess this time I learned my lesson and that I should've fought for a love that I thought would work out because you'll never know if that certain someone have feelings for you as well if you wouldn't try, if no one would take the initiative to confess. Maybe I wasn't really meant to have her, maybe I am just really that guy who will always chose to remain as her friend, because at least I could be that special someone who wouldn't leave her side no matter what happens, the lover she has might break her heart but she can always run to me, run to my arms and cry whenever she needed the comfort. Because unlike lovers, I know for sure that I wouldn't dare leave her no matter how hard or painful it is to see her be in someone else's arms when I imagined her being with me.

March 22 came and it was the time we released my lead single 'In My Blood'. The time I wrote that song was the time I got to reminisce the fact that I felt so down whenever older people in my past school would taunt me since I posted a video of me singing in vine, it wasn't exactly bullying but you would know that it's affecting me in a bad way and that causes a bit of anxiety and embarrassment to me. I just thought that it would be a good thing to address the problem of bullying with the help of social media and my songs, In My Blood was written to let the people be aware of the mental illness there is among the thousand faces of those who are smiling. I really think that such matters like this should be given attention to especially the fact that people seemed to have no care at all at the alarming increase of suicide and mental illness. The following day Lost in Japan was released as my promotional single and official second single.