A Certain Romance (Reimagined)

Questions

"Have you ever had a boyfriend?" Arrie lied on my bed the next day, basking in the full glory of a Sunday. Anytime before afternoon was too early to be bombarded with questions, but he didn't care. Nor did he care that I was trying to finish homework that I had left for the last minute. Arrie was just dying to find something to occupy himself with now that he was ready to start his days. I wasn't sure what people his age even did for fun...file taxes?

"I've never had one...?" I mumbled, reassuring him for the fifth time since he was clearly still surprised by my lack of emotional experience with opposite gender. I didn't like to think about it because it didn't bother me.

"You aren't a bad looking girl and you're quite funny. A good combination." He sincerely noted. "You don't take yourself too seriously and that should come as a relief to guys."

"It's kind of hard to get a boyfriend when you're annoyed by all the guys around you." I sighed, being done with the direction this conversation was going in. I didn't need to hear that I was relief for guys or that I was a good combination of things guys liked. I didn't give a shit what they liked and I didn't need to have a stranger give me unwanted advice. "Whatever combination I am of whatever attributes doesn't mean a guy will suddenly want to date me and be loyal. I'm fine without one anyway."

My confidence is that last sentence shut Arrie up for a few minutes, but right when I thought he was done talking for the day he started up again, hesitantly asking, "Have you ever been attracted to a boy before?"

"That's a stupid questions." I scoffed, shaking my head and shifting in my desk chair as I continued to write down things in my English notebook. "But yes, a few."

"And?"

"And then they all opened their mouths to talk and I was uninterested right away." I slammed my pen down, taking either side of my head in my hands, tangling my fingers in my hair from frustration.

It got quiet again. This time I didn't take the time to convince myself that Arrie was done talking as it felt like he was in deep thought of everything I had told him thus far and was trying to come up with the next annoying question that could drive me to choke him.

"What about Michael? Would you date him?" In any version of this besides the real life version, I would've already lunged across room and choked him until he stopped breathing, but the real life version meant, I sat right where I was and answered the question.

"Eleven year old me says yes, while seventeen year old me says, fuck no."

"Luke?" Arrie asked. "He's beautiful."

"He has a girlfriend." I took a second to write something else down before continuing. "I want someone who's more interested in me than themselves. Then again, Luke would be a really good candidate for someone who would just stand there and look cute and not say anything." But I wouldn't do that to Ally, she was too sweet for her own good.

"Ashton?"

My heart felt like it stopped at the mention of his name. I didn't like that one bit. We were still arguing over the Veronica thing sadly and I didn't have the patience to deal with him anymore so I came back to the school early enough to rest until I needed to do homework. I hope Evelyn didn't mind Arrie in the room whenever she came back.

"He's okay."

"Just okay?" I heard him chuckle like he knew better than to believe what I was saying.

"Just like the others; he has a nice face to look at, but then he speaks and I'm completely turned off." I said with a hint of regret. Hearing it out loud about Ashton made me feel bad. "He's too much of a ladies man." Margarita. Me. Veronica. I wouldn't that he had other girls he was talking to as well. But one hundred times it would be Ashton that I wanted to be with, I just didn't have the guts to put that forward because of my deal with Michael. Yes, I was going back to the deal to save my feelings from being crushed. I needed to detach as much as possible for my own sake. But so what if my heart skipped a few beats when other students at school asked about our relationship, maybe I got a tiny bit giddy catching glimpses of him between class, but I was going to fuck my whole life up for him.