Chapter 15

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It's been getting stronger, my cravings, they're hissing at me to give in. Begging me to do so. I can't trust anyone, I've tried to trust Elijah, it's just been too hard. I can't trust him, not right now.

I went home right after I killed Haley, Damon had to clean up my mess and he wasn't too happy. At first I pulsar get in, so I guess Jeremy had to invite me into my house. Uninvited gets force or something. They tried to talk to me, even brought Jer in, but I couldn't do it.

I don't want to hurt him, even if I crave something stronger than human blood, I still crave it.

I was back at the forest where I had been last night, it was drawing me towards it, with me wanting to of course.

I've been seeing things lately. I clearly-today in the morning-got a clear image of Elena and I in the living room. She was compelling me, I don't know what for, but she was. Then it just faded, just like that.

"Nothing happened to you, and you will not remember what just happened."

I paused where I was. That was Tyler's voice, a voice I could recognize miles away. I walked to the spot, and placed my hand on my mouth from preventing myself to make a sound. I was standing there, with Tyler, he was...compelling me?

"What do you remember?" he asked me.

"I was fighting with Elena and I walked into the forest. How'd I get here? What am I..." My voice trailed off, and the image faded.

I stood there shocked. I had been compelled by Tyler. That bastard.

"I thought I'd find you here."

I stood still, and nodded. I could hear him walking towards me, smell him, but I didn't want to move from my spot. The walking stopped, and I dropped my head to the ground.

"Will you look at me?" When I said, or did nothing, he spun me around so I could face him. "Look at me."

"What do you want Damon?" I scowled.

"Look, you are going to need our help to cope with this, and-"

"Your help? Your help? No, Damon. I'm done! I'm done with everything! I came back to be with my family, to what's left of it that is, to find everything different!"

He tried to speak, but I silenced him with my hand.

"My sister is dead! My brother is-is a freak, I, am dead! Half the damn town is dead! I just came back to be normal."

"You need to accept it."

I stared at him, baffled by his words. "Accept this?" I asked pointing at myself. "I'm dead Damon! I'm dead but I'm still alive and breathing. That's not something to accept, I can't accept it. I won't."

I sniffled, and let a tear fall. I can't accept this, why do to they understand. I want to be normal.

It was silent now, the only sound to be heard, were those of the forest. He hadn't left, an I hadn't made an attempt to make him or leave myself. I needed someone's company, but Damon's probably wasn't the best with these cravings.

"Elijah's been looking for you."

"I know," I whispered.

He walked closer to me, but I made no attempts to look up from where I was staring at the leafy ground. Elijah killed me, I don't know how I could forget that, forgive him. He thought he cured my cravings, but no, they were even stronger now.

"Are you craving blood? I have blood bags in the car."

I finally looked up and stared at him with teary eyes.

"Damon, I'm craving blood," I said looking straight at him. "Yes. I can tell, Wildfire."

He smiled, but I made no attempts to do so. I turned around, and bit my lip.

"No," I stared off. "Damon, I'm craving blood, just not human blood."

Silence.

"A-are you sure? Dammit, Gemma!" he exclaimed furious.

I flinched slightly, and sobbed silently. I was dead and angry. Alive with with no purpose. Anger once again took over me, and without knowing, I punched the nearest tree leaving a small dent, and a big pain on my knuckles.

"Hell," I heard him say.

He turned me around, and examined my wound. "It will heal, but since your major crave is vampire blood, it'll take longer."

I nodded, and whimpered slightly.

"I think I should get you home, we need to talk to your sister."

Elena. She told me of how she couldn't cope with her transformation, but later learned to cope with it. She says if I would just believe I can't go back, then I'd be better, I would know how to handle it, and even control my emotions. I still don't know what she meant by that.

We walked away, but I stopped him. "Don't tell Elijah, please."

I miss him. His lips, his eyes, his words. Nevertheless, he caused this, not matter how strong these feelings for him are, I don't know what to do with them, or with him.

He sighed and nodded. "You're lucky I actually care for you, I would've killed you myself, but for good."

I wiped at my tears, and scoffed. "Thank you, Damon. Makes me feel so much better."

He smirked a bit, and chuckled lightly.

"Bastard," I whispered.

"Heard that!" he exclaimed.

"Again, I was intending for you to."

__________

So...Gemma is okay with it? What do you think Gemma should say and do? Should she accept it, or fight it?

Xoxo

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