Not My Sister's Fiance Book 2

3.

I was preparing dinner while Chrissann was watching cartoons in the living room, when there was a knock at the door.

"Honey could you see who's at the door?" I called from the kitchen.

I could hear from here who was at the door and a smile immediately was on my face.

"Uncle Shawn!" Chrissann exclaimed.

They laughed and chat making there way to the kitchen as I could hear their conversation more clearly.

We sat down later after I have finished preparing, setting the table with their help and then dishing out the food.

"Uncle Shawn did you know that my father is a spy and is out there fighting bad guys. He's so awesome. Are you a spy too Uncle Shawn?" She asked curiously fidgeting in her chair.

He looked to me with amusement and smiled at Chrissann while I tried not to hide away from this conversation.  "Really?" He asked her and she hummed a response. "Am I a spy too Crystal?" He taunts me.

"Ann i told you that you should have kept daddy being a spy a secret." I said scolding her playfully.

"But..." She paused thinking about her answer probably to defend herself. She can be defensive when it comes to certain things and I think this is one of them. If not she would have just held her head down in shame. "He's my Uncle." She whined pouting defending herself.

"Who says he's your Uncle? He could be a pretender and what would you do next when you just gave away your father cover?" I asked her. She looked at Shawn tapping her finger on her chin accessing him.

"It's Uncle Shawn mommy." She justified.

"And how do you know that?" I push and she looked back at Shawn.

"Because no pretender could eat like him. He's such a pig." She said whispering the last part to me so that he doesn't hear her but apparently she talked loud enough for him to hear without knowing.

"Hey!" He said in a rise voice with food in his mouth.

"Told you." She said smiling and I started to laugh seeing the look on his face. He was scrowling at her. "Don't look at me like that." She made honking sound like a pig and I started to laugh again and this time he started laughing too.

"Who's ready for some dessert?" I announced when I stopped laughing gathering the empty plates to carry to the kitchen only to come back with the dessert.

I tucked her in and read her a bedtime story until she was fast asleep. I kissed her on the forehead before I turned off the light and switched on her favourite night light and left her to sleep.

I returned downstairs to see Shawn watching TV. I sat down beside him dropping myself in the couch sighing. He looked at me and then back at the show that he was watching.

We sat in silence the only sound coming from the TV in front of us. I tried to understand what the movie is all about but with this constant debate in my mind I could not concentrate on what was being act.

"When are you going to tell him about her?" He asked still looking at the TV but I knew he was watching me out of the corner of his eyes. How else would he have noticed that I wasn't watching the show.

"Huh?" I said coming from my zone when I heard him talking but not the question.

"They both deserve to know each other and you have to make that decision for the both of them. So when is it?" He said looking at me now muting the TV.

I thought about it but all I could do was say yes then no then yes then no. It's a repeat of the both but thinking about it makes it harder for me to make a decision. I think too much and I think about the past and the last words I have said to him when I last saw him. I was such a coward then and there's no difference now. I'm still a coward. Cowering behind my doubts and fears of the outcome.

He deserves to know that he has a daughter and I'm standing in the way of it. I'm so selfish. I could have told him after I was informed of the ending of the suppose wedding but instead I ran and hide.

It was my decision to make and I made it and I decided it was best to keep things to myself. I don't think I could have just jumped at the opportunity to tell him that he has a child not after what I've told him and what he have saw. I did chose my best friend over him who he thought was my boyfriend.

How would it have looked if I came out and say I'm with your child after such displays I did with Shawn. I knew how it looked but I didn't care at the time he was getting married to my sister and I honoured her. Even after the wedding crashed I couldn't do it. Each time I tried I just couldn't do it and because I always chicken out it became difficult and the couldn't just became it.

I know you're probably thinking that I'm stupid. That I should have just told him that he was going to be a father. I was thinking about myself, I just wanted to get away from it all. I wanted to get away from my family for awhile, from him and everything in my life. So yes I'm selfish.

To me I wasn't ready and I wasn't mature enough but now I am. But am I matured enough to face him?

I'll tell you the answer when the time comes but for now I'm trying to work up the courage and strength to do just that. So when it does happen I don't runaway.

"I know. I just don't know how to approach him. I don't want to throw it out in the air like that 'hey Ethan you have a child and she needs you' I don't want him to think that I can no longer care for her. I know he would question why I hid something from him for so long and I have prepared myself." I told him.

I know an outsider would think I'm stalling and avoiding confrontatiom but it's not stalling or avoiding what's inevitable. Its just good to be prepared so you don't look like a bad person.

Keeping a child away from her father.

"I understand but don't wait too long to tell either of them before it's too late." He said looking at me to make sure I take what he's saying seriously.

I know if I delay things any longer it's going to be more difficult than it is right now. "I know."

He was staying the night and the guest room is always available for him to stay whenever he likes.

I know you're wondering why is he here. Well he have been here for me ever since I moved out here.

He was there for me when she was born and has been there ever since. Of course he comes and goes but he makes sure that we are both okay.

I haven't seen Cassie but she calls and text often. She should be coming to visit next month and I can tell that Chrissann is excited about Cassie visiting us. The three of us are going to be together again but we don't count out my little one.