You land yourself a job at Hogwarts looking for love. You soon find Hagrid the Horrible Half-giant and fall head over heels. In this erotic tale of two forbidden lovers there will be heartbreak, love, betrayal, death, and lust. The only question lef...
You strut down the Hogwarts corridors like the sexy beast that you are. You have a greasy ball of disappointment to slice up. Now, where could he be?
You approach a door that says "DO NOT ENTER" You try the knob. Locked.
Just then you remember the super plot devicey spell that completely defeats the fucking purpose of door locks!
"Alohomora." You say say, pointing your wooden dildo at the door. It opens, wow, didn't expect that to happen!
You enter the room...
There you see Snape standing in front of a mirror muttering to himself. You draw closer and you can hear his words:
*Alan Rickman voice* "Ah, yesssss. Those are some nice socks. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ten points to Gryffindor."
"Snape! What are you doing and how the hell did you pronounce ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)?"
Snape whipped around, grease running down his abnormally long nose. "(Y/N)! How did you get in here?"
"I ask the questions here, Severus Sperm!" You look into the mirror. There you see Hagrid in a very short dress twirling his beard hair:
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"Uh, Your trying to steal my sexy half-giant!" you scream.
"*You're" Snape yelps right before you leap on top of him.
You're on top of Snape punching him until his nostril blood and snot are flying into your mouth. He starts punching back but it's difficult.
Suddenly he leans in and kisses you on the mouth, rubbing his against your uvula. It tasted like stale coffee and children's dreams. You continue to kiss everywhere, your body becoming all warm. And then...
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!"
It was....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Dumbledore!
