✔️A Spider's Journey

Chapter 17(Battle of Minds)

Peter couldn't get away from the burning building fast enough. He kept swinging blindly not knowing where he was going. He stumbled as he landed on a rooftop and collapsed to his knees, breathing hard. He couldn't get the image of the building collapsing and the screaming children out of his mind. "It's my fault." Peter whispered.

"No, it is not."

"I didn't save him."

"Peter, the building was structurally damaged. It was going to collapse."

"If I had been faster.."

"No. You can't blame yourself."

"But those children.."

"Are alive because of you."

"But their father, I couldn't.."

"Peter," RAAJA said, her voice soft, "you can't save everyone."

"Then what good am I? If I can't save people, what good am I? I'm useless, worthless." Peter said, his voice hoarse. "People would be better off without me." he whispered.

"That is not true." Peter flinched at how forceful RAAJA sounded. It sounded like she was mad. "I will not let you tell yourself that. You are incredible. You save people and stop villains. You fight for what you believe is right even when people hate you for it or say lies about you. You do what's right and use your abilities for good and that makes you a great hero, a great person."

"But I couldn't save Uncle Ben or Gwen or Harry or, or May. And what about Dr. Connors? If I can't save the people I care about. If they keep getting hurt because of me, then what good am I? If I can't save the people I love, how can I be trusted to save strangers and not hurt them even more? Two children are fatherless because of me. Because I wasn't fast enough, strong enough."

"But if you hadn't been there the children would also be dead."

Peter shook his head frantically. "If I wasn't here another hero would help. Someone better than me. Someone who could save everyone."

"No one can save everyone. And who else would take care of the people? I didn't see anyone else stepping in to help with the fire."

"Someone would. And they would be better than me. If I hadn't been Spiderman then Gwen would still be alive and Harry wouldn't have gone crazy. Liz wouldn't have had to move. If I had been better I wouldn't have ignored the robber who killed Uncle Ben when I first saw him. If I hadn't been so angry I would have stopped him and he wouldn't have killed Uncle Ben. And if I had been there for May instead of Spidermaning she wouldn't have gotten hit. If I had gotten a job to help pay for rent she wouldn't have had to take the extra shift and would have been home earlier. I should just stop before I hurt anyone else. Before I cause anyone anymore pain." Peter chuckled humorlessly. "At least Ned and MJ are at college. With them away there's no else close to me left to hurt. As long as I keep my identity secret, they'll stay safe. They're the only people I have left now. I can't let them get hurt. And if that means giving up Spiderman, then fine. I can't, I can't lose anyone else." Peter said. He could feel tears wetting the mask and blurring his vision.

"Peter." RAAJA's voice was soft. "You are not worthless. So many people look up to you. And I don't want to hear anything about you letting them down." She cut in as Peter opened his mouth to speak. "You can't save everyone. Not even the Avengers can. No superhero, or police officer, or soldier can. No one can save everyone. And it's something they all have to accept. Just because you have abilities does not mean you are perfect, you will make mistakes. But you have to keep going. It is what has made you one of the best. You took your abilities and decided to use them to help people because you didn't want people to suffer like you had. You wanted to keep people safe even if they called you a villain. But you have to remember that no one can save everyone. Without you, there would be so much more crime. You help keep people safe. And, yes, there are other superheroes. But none of them are here, helping these people. You are. You are risking your life to help them. And you don't do it to get fame or money. You do it because you want to help them. You want to do what's right."