31. CHAMPAGNE, perhaps a new beginning

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                                                               2 years later...

Harieth

"The night was cold and... it rained heavily. I remember feeling lost and... scared. I ran... as fast as I could because she told me to do so. She..." I gulped down hard to control the tears as I lowered my eyes to my hands on my lap, folded together.

"... I... I couldn't do so till the end... she lost her life protecting me." The tears rolled down my cheeks and I wiped it off as I raised my eyes up to behold a slightly blurry vision of a woman seated in front of me.

"Here." She stated as she offered me a box of tissue. I took out a few and wiped my face properly, sniffing as well. I hated recollecting this part of my past. It always brings back haunted memories and reminds me of the consequences for my actions.

"This is good. This is good progress Harieth. You're starting to open up about what happened that night and accepting the fact that it had somehow traumatized you." She added and I looked anywhere else but onto her face.

I was soaked in guilt. Guilt that I believe will never go away because I don't deserve it but the doctor in front of me has spent the last few months trying to change that believe, trying to make me feel better. I know I don't deserve to feel better... not after what I've done.

"I look forward to our next session." She addressed with a warm smile and handshake. I nodded in accordance and without taking one last look back, I walked out of her office and straight to my car.

Once seated in the car, I let out a deep breath. I want to get better but at the same time, a voice in my head tells me that I deserve everything that's happening to me. I can't seem to shake it off. Perhaps, deep down, I believe that voice.

I stopped by a flower shop and the owner, a brown skinned woman, probably in her mid-thirties, flashed me a warm smile as soon as she took notice of my presence.

"Good morning Harieth."

"Morning."

"The usual?" She questioned and I nodded in accordance. I watched her set out a bouquet of daisies.

"I made sure to pick out the fresh ones, just as you like it and like always... I hope your today will be different." She expressed as she handed me the bouquet. I tried my best to return her smile with one of mine but I'm unable to completely do that. It has been a while since I smiled.

"Thank you Anna." I appreciated before I was well on my way.

Once I turned off the car's engine, I sat still for a moment before shifting my eyes to the side view mirror, starring at my reflection for quite a while. Somehow, I'm unable to recognize myself. The person in the mirror seemed like a shadow of my former self.

Regardless, I drew in a deep breath as I shifted my eyes away from the mirror.

"Today is the day." I told myself, making sure the familiar sentence resounds in my ears and registers in both my heart and head, refusing the thought of doubt. Without wasting a second more, I picked up the bouquet of flowers from the seat and made my way out of the car.

I walked right through the entrance into the building of which a bold writing Steve Carson's General hospital hung up top.

I made my way into the elevator heading for the 6th floor.

"Good morning Mrs. Hendrix." The nurse behind the counter greeted with a warm smile as I walked past her.

"Morning." I replied with a subtle smile and continued on my tracks down the end of the hall, paying not much attention to several other patients and visitors that made their way around me.

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