A Certain Romance (Reimagined)

Sage's Birthday

"Happy birthday."

The thought of being eighteen had never been so bittersweet until the moment of 12:01 in the morning the day of my birthday. I sat in my bedroom, watching videos on entirely nothing important. Cat videos, how morticians did their jobs without breaking down, why hurricanes happen, etc...Anything to distract myself from the thought of another birthday passing me by and me still feeling as though I hadn't accomplished anything.

Arrie had taken over Sam's room since Sam spent all of his time off the record. So, Arrie and I sat in Sam's bed quietly doing our own things until Arrie finally muttered birthday wishes to me before hopping off the bed and tearing the room apart in search for something. We sat in this room instead of mine because I had the strongest urges to let my eyes roam out my bedroom window to catch a glance of Ashton in his room and long for some romantic scene in a movie to happen to us. I always had such high expectations for Ashton and I, then I would see Ashton on top of Veronica in his bedroom, kissing all over her body. Stupid expectations they were, when I began to feel as if he purposely kept his curtains opens and his blinds up so I would see how much he never meant anything that he said to me.

Dad was asleep still, waking in about thirty minutes tops to prepare for work then leave, so I didn't expect him to anything to me until his shift was over in the afternoon. Honestly, I didn't expect him to say anything to me at all, ever, because Sienna was gone again; leaving some time in the middle of the night during the week after dad had left for work and while I was gone at school. Sure, the whole situation was shitty but it didn't really bother me that much anymore. Who needed inconsistent people in their lives anyway?

I looked up to Arrie, confused. He handed me a box wrapped in Christmas wrapping paper, something we had stored away in our special Christmas storage closet downstairs. Even birthday and get well soon gifts were wrapped with the paper year round. "What's this for?"

"I thought I should give you something for your birthday. We've gotten pretty close and I like to think of you as my only friend." I felt him shrug his shoulders as he sat close to me in the bed. So close that I could feel his body expanding each time he deeply inhaled. I had never thought about Arrie in a romantic or sexual way. He wasn't my type, but then again, I didn't know what my type even was. Surely, my dreams had replaced Ashton with Arrie once or twice and I had sexual dreams about the older man, leaving me confused for the rest of the day and distracting my thoughts from going to Ashton. But I knew that was wrong. The dreams were wrong. Arrie was here to protect me, not be some silly rebound to make me feel better about the things going on with Ashton and I. I knew better.

To some extent.

In the box was every game of God of War ever created to this day. I had mentioned a few times if I had to play any video games, those would be my choices because I had watched the walkthroughs on YouTube and thought they looked fun. Buying gifts for me was hard, I never spoke about the things I liked or the things that made me happy. That was why I usually ended up with gift cards from my parents and my grandparents on every holiday. I had issues expressing when things made me happy or caught my interest. One of my many flaws. Below the games was a framed picture of Arrie and I before one of the school's football games. I think it was the second or third one he had accompanied me at, he was tired after a streak of insomnia, but he still made it a priority to go to the game because he was so worried something would happen to me no matter how many times I told him a high school football game was the least likely place for me to get kidnapped or murdered. I did like sentimental gifts like this, I loved pictures. Freezing a moment for the matter of eternity did make me happy.

"I'm surprised you remembered it's my birthday." I chuckled lightly, staring at the photo. I tried to place myself back into that exact moment, to feel the exact emotions I felt that night. I couldn't remember. I definitely looked happier in the photo than I currently was. Maybe it was because Evelyn had told me a joke or said something random and out of pocket to make me forget the circumstances I was in at the time.