𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍.

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"Lucky, go back in your room, baby, I'm okay," a 7-year-old Sadiya stood in her mom's doorway as her father's chest heaved up and down

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"Lucky, go back in your room, baby, I'm okay," a 7-year-old Sadiya stood in her mom's doorway as her father's chest heaved up and down. "Can you check on your baby brother, please?" she was pleading with her and Sadiya nodded reluctantly before heading to her brother, Micah's nursery.

She carefully picked the six-month-old up out of his crib, where he just looked around wide eyed. She smiled at him softly, kissing him on the forehead before cradling him close to her chest like her mom taught her when he was born. Soon after, her 3-year-old sister Amaia walked in the room, rubbing her eye, seemingly being awoken from a nap.

"I scared, sissy," she pouted, climbing up in the large rocking chair that sat in the corner of Micah's nursery, laying on her sister's shoulder.

"Me too, Maia," she glanced over at her little sisters' glossy eyes, giving her a kiss on the forehead. "She's gonna be okay," she smiled, trying to convince herself as well.

The three siblings sat together in silence, forced to hear their mother's cries of pain and the relentless assault of the man who was supposed to protect them from harm as he broke that promise again and again.
***

I sat straight up in my bed, breathing heavily and feeling tears rush down my face. Every year, closer to my birthday I always dream about them. They're always so vivid and realistic I feel like I'm right back in that house. That was the last night I ever spent with my siblings or my mama before they were taken away from me and it still haunts me till this day.

Part of me thinks that the nightmares keep coming because I haven't forgiven him. I can't, my heart won't let me, but maybe that's the reason I can't heal.

I checked my phone and saw it was 1 in the morning, making me sigh loudly, knowing I probably wouldn't be getting back to sleep anytime soon.

I grabbed my phone off the charger and my keycard, being careful not to wake Rico in the next bed as I tip toed out into the hallway. The people we were doing the drop for provided us with rooms at a fancy ass hotel for us to stay in for the week, my hoodrat ass was amazed.

I walked around back to where the pool was, being embraced by the cool air, thankful the sun was gone for the day, I be feeling like I'm in hell.

As I walked over to the edge of the pool, I looked in my reflection, staring at my slightly red eyes in the crystal clear water, it was like a mirror. I wish I could let my hurt go, but I feel like if I did, I'd let my mama go, and I couldn't let her go., she was the last piece of me I had left.

"Whatchu' doin' up, lil baby?" I heard a deep voice come from behind me. I whipped my head around and saw Semaj sitting in a pool chair, blunt hanging out his mouth. I knew I was really off because I would have seen him any other day.

"I uh, I just couldn't sleep," I shrugged at him, playing with my hands. He made me nervous as fuck without trying. I mean yeah I like him, but you ain't gotta stutter, bitch. He just eyed me like he usually did, not saying a word, just waving me over to him.

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