29 ♛ Pandemonium

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- Long'Er -

For children who were separated from their parents, reunion was often a happy occasion. It should be rejoiced and celebrated over a family meal. It should involve conversations between them exchanging memories that had occurred during the time they weren't together. It should expel loneliness and provide a sense of belonging.

But for her, that wasn't the case.

Something hot burned her throat. Thousands of burning questions ran through her mind. Hundreds of emotions attacked her all at once, leaving her stunned and breathless at what had unfolded before her very eyes.

She knew for a fact that her own father was unaware of her existence, but did he forget about her mother and had moved on in his life by marrying a second wife? Did Han Zhi Wen truly love her mother? Did he bother searching for her after her disappearance from his life?

And he had a son now, one which he adored a lot.

There was a new emotion stirring up within her. Was it wrong for her to feel jealous of her half-brother for everything that she didn't have? That he had grown up under their father's love and care in a complete family?

Anger rose within her, but it soon dissipated once she got a good grip of herself.

A part of her instantly felt ashamed at her incorrigible thoughts. The poor boy was simply just an innocent child who didn't have any involvement in any of this. Yes, she was feeling hurt and angry at her father, but she admitted that it wouldn't be fair for him to wait for several long years in loneliness. For a long time, she knew that there was a possibility that he might remarry.

She thought she would be ready to confront the reality, but seeing it for herself in person was like punching her in the guts.

And it made her chest hurt so much.

Her eyes lowered to the ground, fixing her stare on the wooden floorboard as her vision blurred. She suppressed her tears, willing herself not to cry, when she suddenly felt a hand slip into hers. Someone was grasping her hand gently and the warmth radiating from his sent a wave of calmness over her.

Blinking back tears, she glanced up to meet a worried Li Xun.

He peered into her face. "What's wrong?" he asked her. There was a tint of worry in his voice. "Did someone criticise you? Bully you?"

Long'Er swallowed thickly and kept her head low. "It's nothing of concern," she answered quickly. "Some dust has probably gotten into my eyes. Your Highness, you shouldn't be standing too close to me."

He may not have noticed, but she did. His abrupt absence away from his companions had caught them off guard and now, they were whispering behind their backs. Gawking at how close they were standing together with their hands intertwined.

When she tried to pull away, he only held on to her tighter.

She drew in a sharp breath. "Your Highness!" she whispered frantically. "Rumours will start again."

He merely raised an eyebrow. "Let them say whatever they want."

She gaped at him in disbelief. "You may not care, but I do."

He stared at her for a long time. "Fine," he gave in. "I'll let go if you tell me what's bothering you."

"I–"

Her words faltered. She knew she needed time to sort out her thoughts first because at this moment, she was uncertain of what she should do next. A part of her had initially wanted to reveal herself to her father after locating his whereabouts. To return something to him which she had kept for a long time. But right now, she was thinking that her abrupt appearance might simply bring destruction to a happy family.

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