Chapter 47

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"I-I-", I stutter

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"I-I-", I stutter. I have no words.

"Is that what you're doing? Trying to torture me more? I know what I did was fucking wrong and disgusting and I'm so fucking sorry...but I can't do this", He gestures between us, "I know you don't love me, you can't even tell me you do, so please just stop torturing me cause I can't take it anymore. I can't fucking take it Camila!", He stresses tearing up, the thick tears coating his waterline. He sits at the foot of the bed with his elbows on his knees and his hands covering his face. I'm frozen, I don't know what to say or do. It's not that I don't love him but I'm scared, so scared.

"It feels like I'm dying", he sniffles.  A tear runs down my cheek from his words, I turn away from him and wipe it quickly with my sleeve.

"If you don't want me then please... stop torturing me and just leave me alone", His voice cracks. I turn around facing him, I pad towards him at the end of the bed and remove his arms from his his knees to straddle his lap. I wrap my arms around his neck pulling him closer into me.

"What are you doing?", He quietly says not wrapping his arms around me.

"I'm so scared, Ace", I hold him tighter hoping he'll hold me back, "I love you and it scares me to death", my tears begin to fall as I confess something I've never told him.

"You love me?", His voice hoarse.

"So much, it scares me that you can hurt me and you did just that"

"I know I did and I'm so fucking sorry, you have no idea how much but I promise I will never do it again", He shakes his head into the crook of my neck.

"I'm just terrified, Ace", I admit.

"I am too, only because I can't live without you"

"Same, no matter how much I tell myself but losing our baby broke me and terrified me more", I wipe my nose on his shoulder.

"Will you forgive me?", He pulls me back looking me in the eyes as his hand find my cheek.

"Yes but promise me this won't happen again", I bite my lip holding in more tears.

"I promise, baby", His sad eyes soften as he leans forward capturing my lips.

I've missed him so much. I no longer feel terrified, I can't be terrified at what ifs anymore I need to learn to forgive and deal not fall apart and hold judgment. Our lips move together in sync I melt onto his lap pulling him closer to me.

"Say you love me again", He whispers into my lips.

"I love you", I quietly say against his lips, he smiles against my lips in response.

I've missed that gorgeous smile.

Our lips begin to move in sync once again, the kiss becoming more hungry for one and other. His hands find my hips before wrapping his arms around the smalls of my back pulling me evidently closer even though there is no room left between us. A loud knock sounds the door and I shoot up off his lap out of breath.

"Come in!", Ace clears his throat moving to the headboard and covers his crotch with a pillow like he once did before. Asher walks in slowly his eyes falling on me immediately, "What's going on?", He says in confusion.

"Nothing we were just talking about-"

"Brad", Ace cuts me off.

"Oh", He says still confused, "I was coming to check if you were alright"

"I'm going downstairs", I leave fairly fast. Ace and Ash come downstairs after a few minutes, we all sit around the dining table finishing our meal.

"Do you think Brad will be alright?", George asks peering around the table hoping someone will answer. 

"I hope so", Ace sighs.

Lillian doesn't comment just looks down at her empty plate, I can't imagine what she's going through. I place my hand on Ace's thigh under the table trying comfort him. He looks my way smiling, I can seem him beginning to relax. I give him a loving smile back before turning away hoping no one sees.

****

We're saying our goodbyes at the door, Asher and I hug everyone before leaving. The last person I hug is Ace. I wrap my arms around his neck pulling him down to me, he wraps his arms around my lower back pulling me closer, "Stay up tonight", He demands a whisper in my ear.

I pull away smiling, Asher and I make our way back home with awkward silence surrounding us. I don't know why.

"What's wrong?", I sigh to him as we reach the front door.

"Nothing", He shrugs opening the door and running upstairs.

Why is he acting weird?

I sit on the couch with my mother, we chat for while but she soon disappears to her en-suite for a shower as I do the same. I lay in my childhood bed feeling my eyes become heavy. This day has been wild, I've done so much crying during the whole mouth my body feels so worn out but today I broke down completely before finally forgiving Ace.

"Hi baby", I hear in my ear.

I open my eyes seeing Ace laying next to me staring in awe. He definitely looks happier than this morning. I didn't know I fell asleep, I must've been really tired.

"What are you doing here?", I question placing my small hand on his cheek, I feel like I'm dreaming.

"Stay up tonight... remember?", He smiles.

"Oh yeah", I smirk.

"C'mere", He pulls me closer, "I missed you", He places a soft kiss on my nose.

"I missed you too", I smile for about the millionth time today since we've gotten back together.

"Say you love me again", He smirks looking deep into my orbs.

"I love you"

"Again", He grins.

"I love you", I giggle.

"I'm never going to get tired of that, I love you so much", He enthuses with a grin that could cover the entire US.

I roll on top of him, "You know what else I've missed", I smile leaning down pecking his lips.

"What's that?" He smirks snaking his arm around the small of my back.

"You...inside of me", I bite down on his lip lightly.

He lightly laughs before smashing his lips against mine, "I missed that too", he whispers breaking our kiss. He bucks his hip causing me to feel his hard on and I gasp. Our lips dance together once again, his fingers find the hem of my vest top pulling it over my head only breaking the kiss for a moment, "So beautiful", He whispers.

I giggle feeling myself turn crimson, I pull him up wrapping my arms around him as he shuffles leaning against the headboard. His hands fiddle with my bra as he kisses down my neck..

"What the fuck!!"

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