A S H T O N (HIS P.O.V.)
Sometimes I wonder / In any other summer could you have been my part time lover / To me listening to Stevie Wonder / Under the covers where we used to lay / And Re: Stacks is what the speakers play / I’d be on tour almost every day / When I was home up in my flat is where we used to stay
Being home from tour was fine. Great, even. Until I started seeing things that reminded me of her every time I turned a goddamn corner. This morning when I woke up, I did everything I could to blur the memories of me and her waking up in the same bed, the same broken sunlight streaming through the blinds. I tried to forget the way she’d lazily roll over, the sunlight making her hair shimmer and adding to her overall angelic appearance, and start the music playing from her phone, and we’d just lie there and listen. When I put my phone on shuffle in the car and that Stevie Wonder song played, I had to stop it after the first five seconds to avoid whatever emotion I was feeling. I tried to forget the way we never put a label on our relationship, and the look she had on her face when I hugged her the last time at the airport before leaving for tour. We’d stopped talking everyday after a while, until eventually we didn’t talk at all. I wondered if she knew I was home. I wondered if I should call her. I wondered if she missed me and if she struggled with the memories the way I did. I didn’t even know if I was allowed to feel these things — after all, we were never really together, were we?
C A L U M (HIS P.O.V.)
Oh Nina / You should go Nina / ‘Cause I ain’t never coming home / Nina oh, won’t you leave me now / And I’ve been living on the road Nina / But then again you should know Nina / ‘Cause that’s you and me both / Nina oh, won’t you leave me now / Now
"Won’t it be nice when you come home, for good?" Y/N asks dreamily from her end of the phone call. "Yeah," I agree halfheartedly, swallowing the guilt and dread that had begun to form in my stomach each time we went through one of these phone calls. "God I miss you," she sighed. "Miss you too," I said truthfully. I did miss her. I just didn’t know how to tell her we’d scheduled another tour, and I wouldn’t really be home for good for quite a while. She was better off without me, better off without constantly missing me — but I couldn’t bring myself to leave her. She’d have to do that on her own. Eventually, Y/N would realize that I spend far too much time on the road to be good for her, and she’d leave. And it would hurt, but I’d let her. The sooner she realized it, the less hurt she would be. As I told her I loved her and hung up the phone, I painfully wished she’d just leave me now and spare herself the tears.
L U K E (HIS P.O.V.)
And every weekend in the winter / You’d be wearing my hoodie / With draw strings pulled tight / To keep your face from the cold / Taking day trips to the local / Where we’d eat on our own / ‘Cause every day when I was away / We’d only speak on the phone
"Its. So. Cold." I remember her hissing out, her voice muffled from my hoodie that she had pulled tight around her face and creating puffs of smoke in the cold December afternoon air. "Stop being a pussy," I joked, laughing at how ridiculous she looked in the hoodie that swallowed her small frame, only her eyes and nose visible. She groaned quietly as I continued pulling her down the deserted London streets, towards the nearest cafe to get out of the cold. "You know there’s a reason we’re the only two out right now, right Luke?" she sourly questioned, struggling to keep up with my long strides. "Because we’re adventurous and don’t mind a little cold?" I guessed, raising my eyebrows as her. "No, because it’s 20 fucking degrees outside and there’s half a foot of snow on the ground, and you’re a dumbass who I somehow decided I was in love with and followed to London," she whined, using her both her hands to grab onto one of mine and try to keep up. "Aw, Y/N, love you too," I kept up my positive attitude, finding it strangely adorable the way she rolled her eyes in disgust. I knew she hated the cold, but I was determined to get to a cafe. After, we hadn’t come all this way for nothing. I finally saw a glimpse of the familiar cafe and reached my hand out to open the door when I saw a sign clearly marked ‘CLOSED.’ "Are you fucking kidding me?!” Y/N began, before I cut her off by pressing my lips to hers. “Guess we’re gonna have to find another way to keep warm,” I had mumbled, her lips complying with mine. Now, I fell out of the distant memory and looked at the snowflakes falling outside my hotel window, and then the phone in my hand. My thumb hovered over her contact info before I decided against it and locked my phone. No. She wouldn’t want to talk to me now. That day in the cold was far away.
M I C H A E L (HIS P.O.V.)
You call me selfish, I understand / But I can’t help it / I put my job over everything / Except my family and friends / But you’ll be in between forever / So I guess we’ll have to take a step back
"Ugh!" she let out angrily as she grabbed a fistful of my shirt. "Why did you wait to tell me you were leaving for five months until the day before you leave?!" she weakly pushed me back away from her. "Y/N…" I trailed off, trying to grab her hands in mine. "No! No, Michael," she looked up at me, her eyes impassioned and conflicted. "You know what you are? Selfish! Fucking selfish! I’ve known you since we were, what, five? I should’ve fucking known you’d do this to me," she jabbed her finger into my chest as angry tears streamed out of her eyes. "I know," I start. "I can’t help it," I try to explain. "What do you even think we are, Michael? What am I to you? Am I your girlfriend? Your best friend? Someone you’re willing to leave behind without any warning? Explain, please,” she finally lets go of my now crumpled shirt and takes a step back, sniffling and wiping her face with the back of her hand. “I guess…I guess we just need to take a step back while I’m away. This tour, this is what I need to focus on right now, Y/N, I’m so sorry,” I say as a pang hits my heart. She looks up at me and weakly chuckles, shaking her head slightly. “Bye, Michael,” she holds my gaze until she reaches the door, then walks out and to my surprise closes the door silently behind her.
