The Death of Antinous || bxb ✔︎

VIXERE

When Alexander the Great conquered Egypt he was regarded as a liberator. After the sacking of Tyre, and the siege of Gaza, the Egyptians pronounced him son of the deity Amun, and upon his death, depicted the war hero with the horns of a ram as a symbol of his divinity.

Hadrian and Antinous crossed the desert in a litter carried by eight thirsty slaves. A heavily embroidered canopy of silk shielded them from the sun. Occasionally the litter would stop because a slave had stumbled under the beam of polished oak on his shoulder.

Antinous tried not to wince at the sound of their moans. Hadrian watched him carefully for any hint of disapproval. The Emperor brought a leather flask of water to his lips and the boy took a furtive sip.

They reached Heliopolis at dusk. The number of horses had thinned but he was relieved to see that his own willful gelding had made it with Orodes safely on his back.

While Athens and Rome were mother and child, Egypt was the ancestor from which their knowledge was made possible. Greeks may have invented mathematics and poetry, but Egyptians invented numbers and letters. The trapezoidal-shaped temples were painted with hieroglyphics he could not read but he sensed their ancient wisdom. The beginning of thought itself.

At the center of the city stood a stone obelisk that pierced the cloudy sky. A storm was coming.

There wasn't much time to enjoy the ancient treasures of Heliopolis. The flotilla was already docked at the harbor on the Nile. Though this fleet of three ships would carry the Emperor, Commodus and Sabina's parties separately, the wealthy often threw elaborate feasts while travelling up the river. Drawbridges would connect the ships like links in a necklace so guests could move easily from one to another.

Commodus was throwing such a feast on his ship their second night on the Nile. They had arrived in Egypt just in time for the festival of Osiris, the god of fertility and resurrection.

Before boarding, he kissed the Emperor's ring. "Safe travels, Caesar. My shaman tells me it will rain but he assures me my feast will be the greatest to ever grace the Nile." He turned to Antinous. "I hope you're hungry, Greek."

"I am never hungry for the appendages of feeble creatures that you call food."

He shrugged. "Not all of us have been raised to appreciate rare delicacies. Perhaps the slaves will let you mop up some of their stew with a crust of bread?"

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The ship creaked and groaned as it disembarked and set sail. Rain pattered on the deck and he watched the water rise. It submerged the riverbank. The views he had been keen to see on their journey were obscured by fog, and the locals who might have waited for the ship to pass so they could wave, kept a safe distance.

At night, dead trees looked like hands reaching out of the water. He was suddenly struck by a memory that was not his own. His mother told him that when he was a baby there was a terrible storm that flooded the river Sangarius near their home and destroyed all of their crops.

Leonides was watching him as he hovered over the prow.

"How many times do I have to tell you not to lean over the handrail?" He felt the soldier's arms slip around his waist and pull him back to safety.

"At least a dozen more," Antinous replied, happily allowing himself to be manhandled.

They hadn't spoken since the retinue left Libya. There was no opportunity while crossing the desert. He relished this stolen moment and breathed in his scent like a ration for safekeeping.

"What are you thinking about?" Leonides asked.

"A memory that belongs to someone else, though now that she's gone, perhaps it belongs to me."