𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝐓𝐖𝐎
The cameras panned around the Avengers compound. It showcased it's full glory in the dewy sunlight of a nice autumn morning. Leaves fell around the building in a beautiful swirl of red and yellow.
It was peaceful. It was calm.
Until...
Shouts of anguish and strings of curses echoed across the halls.
"AVENGERS!"
"F---!"
"The h-ll do you want, Thor!?!"
"It's THREE IN THE MORNING!"
---
The camera panned across all of the characters, dressed in black.
Everyone shuffled their feet as they awkwardly looked at Thor, who was tearing up, giving a eulogy for Loki.
---
The camera zoomed in and out, attempting to focus on Tony Stark who was standing inside the funeral home away from everyone else.
"This is the eighth funeral Thor has held for Loki."
Tony stopped talking as he listened to a staff member behind the camera.
"No! He doesn't come back to life. He just pretends to be dead. Apparently Thor is annoying? Or was he clingy? I don't even care anymore, I'm DONE with this sh*t. Thor is so f***ing gullible."
---
Sam sat on a porch chair with a large beer in his hand.
He sipped the drink and began to speak to the camera.
"Yeah, calling this a funeral is an embarrassment to all funerals."
---
The camera cut to Peter Parker, the nerdy intern.
"Uh, hello! I'm Peter? Tony Stark's personal intern. I've grown close to Mr. Thor over this past year and I'm usually sympathetic but at this point I-I think Thor needs to get help. And I mean this in the nicest way possible, but Loki is very manipulative and I can't even begin to imagine having to deal with the trauma of losing a loved one 8 times already. It's been very hard on Mr. Thor. I would know."
Peter leaned close to the camera.
"Don't tell anyone but... One time I heard him crying in the bathroom. I remember it very clearly because I really had to go but I didn't wanna disturb him so I peed in a bucket. It's one of those things that I'll be taking to the grave."
---
"I remember when it all started..." Steve whispered to the camera.
Wind chimes began to ring in the background and Steve's face slowly rippled out of view.
---
Thor held a pale Loki in his arms as he cried in agony.
"L-Loki... Please wake up! Please!"
Tony and Spider-Man stood next to him with their heads down.
Spider-Man took a step forward and placed a hand on Thor's shoulder.
"Thor. It's time to go, buddy."
Thor sniffled and carefully placed Loki back onto the ground. The battle had just finished and when Thor turned around he couldn't help but notice his dead brother on the ground.
Thor stood up and slowly walked away with Spider-Man and Tony following him.
The camera turned back to Loki, slowly zooming onto his eyes. When suddenly they opened.
Loki sat up and turned to look at the cameraman. He slowly put a finger to his mouth and ran into the opposite direction.
---
"And that other time..." Steve trailed off.
---
"Loki was my worst enemy. But most importantly, he was my brother. I miss him so mu-"
Gasps spread through out the crowd of attendees, interrupting Thor's eulogy.
Thor turned around to see his brother sitting up with a smirk. When Loki saw Thor's face he burst out laughing.
"Loki!?!" Thor exclaimed as Loki discreetly pulled a knife out of his pocket.
"Brother!" Loki exclaimed before promptly stabbing him in the gut.
---
The camera cut back to the current funeral as Thor continued to talk while wiping his tears.
"My brother was... a good man."
No one reacted.
"An honest, honorable man."
Everyone stared back at him blankly in disbelief.
"He never deceived anyone ever in his entire lif-"
Suddenly a dark figure fell out of a tree near the coffin.
"I'm sorry, I can't take this anymore." Loki said as everyone sighed in relief and began to leave.
"Loki!?! You're alive!" Thor exclaimed, happily. He ran up to Loki with tears of joy and open arms. Loki opened his arms up wide before swiftly stabbing him in the gut. Thor keeled over in pain and coughed out blood.
"G-Good to see you too, brother." Thor grunted out while watching Loki run off into the distance.
---
"I never knew it would be this tiring to be alive." Loki began as the camera was finally able to get him to sit down and have a chat.
"I would have definitely stayed in my mother's womb if I did."
---
Thor sat in the med bay, shirtless and with a bandage wrapped around his abdomen.
"It is alright! I am used to it." He muttered, shaking his head at the cameraman.
Thor softly smiled.
"This is just his way of saying he loves me..."
---
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imgayforblackwidow
This episode was both sad and hilarious at the same time wtf
9.3k retweets 12.7k likes 10.9k replies
babythor
Omg no.... Thor :(((
But also hahahaha Loki good one (s)
25k retweets 43k likes 18.4k replies
stevethewhore
Omg Peter was so precious awww (;
36k retweets 59k likes 27.9k replies
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𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒: 𝐀 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐓𝐕 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐰
FanfictionAssembling the Avengers (often abbreviated as ATA) is an American reality television series that airs on the E! cable network. The show focuses on the personal and professional lives of the Avengers and their nerdy intern. ~~~ Peter Parker is pulled...
