Chapter 35

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Wut? An update?

I know even I'm shocked. But yes I finished one chapter. Hopefully this streak continues until the book is completed. I hope you can still bear with the slow updates. Please vote and POLITELY share your thoughts. I am writing this for fun, not really expecting anyone to read or enjoy this story. Though I am writing as my personal creative outlet, its still a little saddening when things get a little pushy. But please don't think of this as me being preachy or ungrateful. I say this in a general sense, including the times when I read other peoples' stories most having pushy comments and the like. Although, I am very blessed to have you guys who are very kind ... your kind words help me think up of ideas. Anyway, again I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Last Updated. December 2, 2019

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ALENA

Chirp. chirp.

Chirp. chirp. chirp.

I wake up to the sound of the birds' beautiful melody. I slowly look at my surroundings, disoriented.

My room. I sit up, pulling my blanket off to see that I still had last night's clothes on. What happened?

At that moment, the events of last night enter my mind. 

Déjà vu. I thought.

This was just like my last discussion with Leo. Except this time instead of anxiety, last night's talk has left me feeling liberated. The act of simply speaking out my locked up feelings and sorrows feels like I have unloaded a heavy burden from my shoulder. We have definitely not settled the issues of the past; but talking it out with Leo, even just a little bit, is a huge step of courage for me.

Thinking about it now, I realize that my first instinct when faced with a problem is to run away. Although when I learned that I was pregnant, I didn't run away because I couldn't do so without loosing my children. When Leo re-entered our lives, I didn't run away because I understood deep in my heart that the children longed to know about their father. Only my children made me strong. But when it came to things concerning myself, I ran away.

When Leo brought the divorce, I could have fought but didn't. When good men have asked me for a date in the past, I rejected them with excuses. When Leo wanted to talk about the past, I immediately distanced myself. Running away is my defense mechanism. And now that that I think about it, the same was the case for Leo.

Fearing the pain of a broken heart, Leo immediately ran away and distanced himself when even just tiny circumstantial evidence pointed to me being unfaithful. Instead of fighting for our relationship, he quickly opted for a divorce.

Running away worsened our situation.

But Leo has stepped past it. Leo didn't run away from the responsibility of being a father. He could have, but didn't. Rather, he even pushed to be one. Leo pressed to talk about the past. We haven't put a close to the issues of the past, but we have taken the first step. Leo said he believed me and will look for the source of the photos. Leo has stopped running away.

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