Lie With Me

Disaster Brewing?

I just stared lifelessly into his eyes as I sat in the the white leather couch across from him. It was just silent for awhile. I didn't know what he wanted to say and I sure as heck didn't know what to say.

"It was all a lie," Alex broke the silence.

I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding. "I'm sorry." Wait why am I saying sorry.

"No you're not."

I just looked at him for a second. "You're right, I'm not sorry."

"I should be the one apologizing for hurting you," Alex said quietly.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. I hated that fact that being around Alex made me lose all control of my sensibility. "You did, you hurt me. More than I thought anyone ever could."

I watched as Alex's guilty eyes burned into mine. He got up from where he was sitting and moved next me. I had a sudden urge to cry so I looked away. Alex gently placed his hand on my cheek and turned me back to him.

"I never meant to hurt you."

"But you did," I chuckled trying not to cry as I stood up to get some air away from him. I walked to the window and put my burning face on the cold pane. The view was beautiful and I'd never get tired of it.

I heard Alex's footsteps and soon I felt his warm presence standing behind me. He was standing so close I could his breathing.

"I'm truly sorry," Alex whispered in my ear."

"I know."

I felt his lips touch my neck and I froze. "You're nervous."

"No I'm not," I said confidently trying to sound convincing.

"Then why is your index finger pinching your thumb?"

I looked down and hadn't even realized that my fingernail was digging into my thumb. I quickly removed my index finger to see a fingernail imprint on the pad of my thumb. "My thumb was itchy," I stupidly blurted out.

"Ana," he whispered from behind.

I turned around and we were standing dangerously too close together. "Tell me Alex. What are you planning to do?"

"I don't know."

There was my answer. I stepped away from him and put a good distance between us. He looked a little surprised. "That's not good enough for me. I'm tired." With that I walked to the door. "Good bye love," I whispered.

Alex didn't chase after me. Did I want him to try and stop me and tell me what I wanted to hear? Of course I did. But this was for the best. I am not going to be someone's second choice.

***
6 months later

"Beautiful, absolutely stunning Ana!"

I stepped away from the camera and went to see the photos. I smiled with the way they turned out. "Thank you Jorge."

"No thank you sweetheart. The magic is all from you," Jorge the photographer said.

You guessed it. I didn't quit modeling after all. And I'm glad I didn't. It's helped me get through some hard times. On the bright side my career was taking off. And I owe a lot of that success to Grayson. He's made a lot of connections for me. Over the past few months we've been getting a lot closer and although forgetting about Alex has been hard, Grayson made it a little bit easier. I still found myself thinking about Alex though.

I had gotten a wedding invitation a few months ago from Alex. I can't say I was surprised.  I knew that's how it would be. I guess you never forget your first love. Too bad he had to be my first love. Still, it hurt me to receive the invite. Grayson asked me to attend the wedding with him. I had told him I would think about. I really wasn't sure if I could watch Alex marry someone else. It hurt knowing Alex loved Ainsley more than he did me.

"You alright there Ana?" A familiar voice asked pulling me out of my thoughts.

I knew it was Grayson from his voice. "Oh hey! Yeah I'm good," I said pulling on a smile. "What are you doing here?"

"Guess I missed seeing your pretty face, and I wanted to know if you had decided to go with me."

"Maybe, I don't know if it would be appropriate for me to attend."

"Pleaseee, it'll be fun," Grayson begged. "I know how you felt about Alex, but you don't even have to talk to him."

"That would seem rude wouldn't it?"

"I'm sure everyone will be flooding to talk to Alex so he probably wouldn't notice."

He's got a point. "Do you know many people are going?"

"There's going to be at least 500. They tried to keep it selective. If you go it could be a good opportunity for you to network."

Selective? That's a bunch of people. Maybe he won't even see me if I go then. "Okay yeah maybe I'll go."

"Ana, the wedding is in two days. Will you just please just say yes."

"Fine, fine. Yes," I said while rolling my eyes.

"Yes!" Grayson chanted. "It's going to be the event of the year."

The event of the year. Of course it was going to be. Apart of me wanted him to see me but the other part of me wanted to hide forever.