Jessica Grayson has struggled with body dysmorphia and bullying for most of her life. And when she believes she has finally turned things around for herself, she is betrayed and made fun of by her boyfriend and close friends, which sends her into a...
This chapter is dedicated to RosannaMI for being such a sweetheart and supporting my story. She is also an amazing writer so go check out her stories. :) Thank you for being so kind to me, Rosie.
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There's an "IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT" at the end of the chapter.
MAKE SURE TO READ.
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Liam
We make it to Ryan's room, and I let us in, locking the door behind me.
"You're in a hurry." Ellyn giggles.
I push her against the wall kissing her forcefully.
"Whoa!...slow...down." She mumbles in between kisses.
The last thing I want to do is slow down. Because if I slow down, I'll think. If I slow down, I'll feel the ache. If I slow down, I might not be able to do this.
I unclasp her bra and throw her on the bed hovering over her.
"I missed this. I missed y..."
I shut her up, taking her lips in a kiss again. She reaches down to take my shirt off, but I cage her hands above her head before she gets the chance to. I just want to be inside her and numb the ache. I need a distraction, not a connection.
"You're not gonna let me touch you?" She frowns as I bend down to take her panties and my jeans off. "Why are we rushing?" She pouts, looking up at me.
"Please, stop talking," I mutter, squeezing my eyes shut to block out the voice in my head that is telling me to get the hell out of here.
I resume kissing down her neck, and she moans softly. I connect our lips again. Her hands fly up, and she shoves her fingers through my hair, pulling me in to deepen the kiss. No matter how hard I try to enjoy it, nothing about this feels right. This situation is familiar, but the experience of it feels somehow new.
Her touch is dull. It doesn't stir that familiar fire within me, her eyes don't spread that terrifying yet exciting warmth in my chest, her skin doesn't have that accustomed edge of smoothness, her soft moans sound alien, and her lips aren't in sync. The kiss, no matter how heated, has no burning desire or emotion behind it. She doesn't give me any of those feelings I grew used to in the few intimate moments I shared with Jess, and my heart is screaming at me to run as far away from here as possible. But I ignore it. Deep inside, I know I don't deserve to feel that kind of happiness again. This is what I deserve, meaningless sex and an everlasting emptiness.
I palm her boobs with one hand as I spread her legs further with the other. She moans and reaches her hand down, slipping it inside my boxer briefs. I feel as her small fingers circle around me, and she immediately frowns. I follow her eyes and look down to find that I'm not hard at all. What the fuck?
