✓ | RECKLESS AND BRAVE | Draco Malfoy

52 | ZUGZWANG

ZUGZWANG
(n.) being forced by circumstances to do something which you do not wish to do; a strategy in chess whereby one player is forced to make a move they do not wish to make

TESSA FINALLY MANAGED TO CORNER FRED ONE EVENING WHILE GEORGE WAS OUT WITH LEE. It was a little past dinner time, and Tessa had told Draco earlier that she wanted to skip dinner so she could talk to Fred. He seemed worried about it at first, but he didn't mind — after all, Fred was still her best friend. Draco wasn't the kind of person to stop Tessa from hanging out with him just because of what had happened.

     "Hey," Tessa said gently, approaching the tall redhead who sat in front of the fireplace, his long legs stretched out before him. "Can I join you?"

     "Of course," he murmured, his voice low as he scooted over to make space for her. He hadn't looked at her yet, clearly avoiding making eye contact.

     Tessa sat down carefully next to him, never once looking away. "Fred," she said quietly, "we need to talk about what happened. Can you — can you please look at me?"

     She watched him flinch as though he'd been physically hurt — and then very slowly turned to her. His eyes were dark and troubled, and it made her chest sting with how this wasn't like him at all.

     "Why did you do it?" she simply asked, her face showing no hold of malice or betrayal — she was always one to listen and understand.

     For a moment, Fred said nothing as he searched her face. When he spoke, his voice was detached and broke Tessa inside. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sorry for lying to you, I never intended to hurt you by pretending to be someone else. I had come to the common room to call you over for dinner when I saw the note and the cooling cream — I didn't even know you were injured that much. When I read who it was from, I remembered seeing it rather often a few years ago, and remembered you talking about it with Hermione one time. So I took it inside, and that's when you saw me. And — well, you know the rest."

      "That's why you kept apologizing," Tessa said, realization dawning on her when she thought about what he said that day.

     Fred nodded, shifting his gaze to stare hard at the crackling hearth. "I may have lied to you about being the sender of all those letters and gifts, Tess — but I didn't lie about how I feel for you. It's all true."

     Tessa swallowed, thinking first on how to piece her words together. She can't keep threading him along — even if it hurts him, she needs to say it for both of their sakes. "Fred," she started. "I — "

     "You love him," he cut in, his voice the quietest it's ever been. "I know that, Tess — I can see it in your eyes whenever you talk about him or look at him. Especially when you're with him. And . . . ," Fred hesitated for a moment. "And it makes me happy, honestly, that you're happy."

     Tessa didn't even know her lip was trembling as a tear slipped down her cheek. She stayed quiet, listening to Fred as he talked.

     "If we're being completely honest here," he went on, "I've tried to let you go ever since I saw what Malfoy did when you were Petrified." His throat bobbed as he swallowed hard. "I remember sneaking out of class to visit you that day, but when I rounded the corner to enter the hospital wing — Malfoy was already there." Fred flickered his eyes to Tessa. "The whole time you'd been Petrified, he's been reading A Tale of Two Cities to you, and making sure you were doing okay."

     Tessa was mildly surprised at what he'd confessed — she never knew Draco did that for her in their second year. It felt so long ago, and she realized that must be the reason why he'd clearly tried to talk about the book on their third year — on the day that Blaise Zabini threw her in the lake and Draco saved her.