Letters and Murmurs

Chapter Ten: Previously

Beckett and I drove in a comfortable silence as he pulled up to the gate. He punched in the code with some force before hitting the unlock key. The gate open as Dad was yelling at Zack Hall and Alex in the front driveway. Alex almost looked relieved to see me as I was smiling and bouncing my leg up and down.

"Okay you can go home now Alex," Dad said and waved Alex off as I got out of the car.

Zack Hall looked at me with a cold stare. I smirked as Beckett came and held my hand. I gave it a soft squeeze as he tried to drop the key back into my hand. I forced it though right back into his fingers so he had to hold it before giving dad a tight hug.

"Fucking christ don't do that again," Dad said and held me close to his chest.

Once we parted ways I held a key up in his face smiling as his face fell. He looked a little bewildered and looked ready to pounce at Beckett. I put a hand on his chest and looked at him tilting my head to the side.

"I purchased it with the allowance money I was given and some of the money I earned touring with All Time Low. It is technically my apartment. If you'd like to see it, dad, I would love to take you." I said as calmly as possible as he just looked at me.

There was a long pause as dad tried to find the right words. I knew he wasn't trying to hurt my feelings. Dad's silence though was hard to listen to. It was a deafness silence as Zack Hall stood there watching dad and I.

"Brendon I have to warn you where she may take you we don't know she has been acting rather-"

"Zack shut up she is my daughter, not a mass murder," Dad said and looked at me before the wheels began to roll again.

"I'd love to see it, sweetheart. Just don't be moving out too soon." Dad said and I nodded hugging him as we walked up to the house like that.

Beckett was kind of stuck at my house until I drove him back which sucked for him. I had no intention of going anywhere else for the rest of the day. Ryleigh was sitting up in my room which made me practically jump out of my skin seeing her sitting there.

"Lisa and Alex were here. Jack is in the guest room, I take it lover boy is downstairs. Zack Hall is downstairs getting his ass chewed out by Brendon when I walked in and Sarah called me over to see if I knew where you could have possibly gone. So I text Rian and ask him as I am on a date with my Zack and I have to drop my life again to come to find out where the hell you went." Ryleigh said and looked at me.

My room was quite literally destroyed which was not going to help me in my explanation of shit. I tried to find the words in my head that strung together and would be fitting for this conversation I was about to have. Ryleigh got up and smacked me pretty hard upside the head. The blow was enough though to bring up the past.

"P-Please. No I-I didn't mean to!" I hoarsely got out

"Princess quit moving," The rather large man climbed on top of me as I desperately screamed.

I kept screaming as the large man began to remove my clothing. I screamed and screamed until I had no voice left the next morning. It made my foster parents happy and they got a rather nice lump sum of money from that night. The large man was there that morning when I made breakfast talking about round two. For round two though he smacked me up the back of my head.

"Stop fighting kid, you just make it harder to resist you, pretty girl." He said as I whimpered.

I came back to my senses as Jack pulled me off Ryleigh. I was in Jack's arms before I realized I was on top of Ryleigh and had her pinned to the floor. Jack held me with my back to his chest and hand his arms locked around mine in an 'x pattern'. He held me close asking Ryleigh if she was okay as she just stared at me.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Logan-" Ryleigh tried as I shook my head.

Jack loosened his grip at the words 'fine'. This allowed me to break free from his grasp and run back downstairs and grab Beckett's hand.

"I'll be back later mom and dad!" I shouted grabbing the apartment key and car keys.

"Where are we going?" Beckett asked as I ran to the driver's side not waiting for him to buckle.

"To start a new story," I said fighting back tears wanting to escape my demons.

I, however, knew I would never escape my demons. Beckett made me pull over at some point into a gas station and got out taking my spot. He drove to the apartment. We walked in hand in hand placing the keys on the half wall between the dining room and kitchen. I looked at Beckett breaking down inside as he pulled me up toward him.

"I am not going to hurt you but I need to know what happened back there," He whispered in my ear as I cried.

"I-I he was there and then he wasn't there and it reminded me of him. He hurt me and I hate it. I hate this why can't I just forget. Why did it have to be me? Why couldn't it have been-"

"Stop right there. You wouldn't wish this upon anyone else would you?" Beckett said and we sat on the freshly mopped hardwood floor.

I shook my head and looked at the floor. The apartments were new apartment and only one bedroom had carpeting. The upstairs though did have some furniture as we were living it what was the show house. No one ever came in here though really. Beckett pulled my head to his chest as I kept crying.

Why was I such a shitty friend? I cried into his chest as he told me it would be okay. It didn't feel like it was ever going to be okay. I don't even remember pinning Ryleigh. I don't remember grabbing her arms or tripping her. I remember her smacking me upside the head and then it was all a blur until Jack came in.

Becketts soft comforting kisses soon turned into something more. He leaned us back onto the floor as we went from slow soft kisses to more meaningful kisses. Beckett took me by surprise licking my bottom lip for entrance. He was always so soft and gentle always asking first. I allowed him entrance as our tongues battled for dominance. Beckett lost pulling away to breathe before picking me up and throwing out phones onto the counter.

"Let's make this apartment ours shall we?" He asked now in a different mood altogether.

I nodded as he picked me up off the floor. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried us up the steps feeling how hard he was. I smirked up at him as he whispered in my ear.

"That is what you do to me," He kissed at my lower ear lobe.

It seemed as soon as we hit the top step there was a knock at our door. Causing Beckett to groan and place me down on the floor. I went down the steps to see Rian at my door arms crossed. Beckett walked down the steps without his shirt on figuring it was probably a neighbor and not Rian.

"You know you shared your location earlier with Alex and you never turned it off so he sent me here," Rian said and I groaned loudly.

"Why is he- you know what I don't want to know," Rian said before pulling my wrist toward his car.

I barely had time to get in and get buckled before Rian drove off back toward dad's house again.

"Why the hell are in some weird apartment that isn't even yours?" Rian asked stopped at a stoplight.

"Well, you see that's the funny thing. It is my apartment..." I said slowly and as nonchalantly as possible while Rian snapped his head to look at me.

"Oh your dad is going to kill us all," He said before hitting his head on the steering wheel lightly.