Everything I Lost | Jensoo

Chapter 23

JENNIE

I have been stubborn.. And that would cause Ella's life.. What happened at the motel that night still hunts me.. The girl laying there, blood everywhere.. I never saw anything like that before.. And then I realized something that I should have earlier.. That place wasn't the right place to raise a child..

Thank God Jisoo was there for one more time.. I thought that she left me.. I thought that we were over. But we weren't. She was still here.. When she came and I saw her car I felt safer only by looking at her. She was becoming very fast my knight in shine armor..

The way back home I was holding Ella in my arms.. It was night and I don't think that she realized what happened.. I don't even remember how fast I packed our things and left that awful place.. A place I shouldn't have come back..

When we arrived home Jisoo took Ella in her arms and we put her immediately back to bed.. We stayed there till she would fall asleep.. I was cursing myself for what I did to my child.. Something like that could happen to us.. I am glad that I at least had someone like Jisoo..

I felt Jisoo's hand on mine guiding me back in the living room.. I wanted to hug her and cry on her shoulder.. I needed to tell her everything that I had inside me..

"I am sorry Jisoo.. For not listening to you.. You were right.. Oh God.. It could be us tonight.. It could be Ella Jisoo." I said while crying.. I needed to cry and let everything out.

"Ssshh.. thank God it wasn't you.. Now you are safe. Okay? You are going to stay here and I don't want to hear anything about it.. You heard me? Do you know that I lost the world from my feet? Do you know that I thought you were hurt?" I felt her voice breaking..

"Although you broke up with me?"

"What?"

"I saw the note. And you didn't pick up your phone."

"I left my phone here and I didn't break up with you. Why you say that?"

"I thought that you did.. I didn't know what to think.."

"Let's forget it.. Okay? What matters the most is that you and Ella are safe and far away from that sit hole.."

"Thank you.. For being here."

"I never left Jennie.."

It's true.. She never left.. I did..

We stayed there, with Jisoo holding me.. It's strange how close she made me feel every time she had her arms around me. When I was starting to feel my eyes close it was already 3am. She helped me to stand up, she gave me a kiss on my lips and she went inside her room.. I thought that she was mad at me but then I saw her coming out again with clean clothes..

"You need to relax.. Take a hot shower and come find me in our room." I couldn't help but smile.. She called my up until now room, ours.. I didn't know what I did to deserve a woman like her.. She was amazing and I was an idiot making assumptions of her and us.

I took my time inside the shower. I really needed that. Feeling the hot water on my skin it was a catharsis. I was letting my past behind and I was starting to live a present and hopefully a future with Jisoo.. Who knows?

When I finished I found her waiting for me on her side with the light turned on.. She looked at me and I felt my knees shaking.. I got under the covers and turned my face so I could look at her.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being here."

"I want to be here Jennie. Don't forget that. And don't you ever do something like that again. Okay? You scared the whole crap out of me." I know it wasn't the time to make jokes but the situation was already bad and we needed to let go.