Phoenix: The Risen ✔️

H o n e s t

"Me and my father have a...complicated relationship." Phoenix started. 

They were seated in his room and he was thankful that his father was actually gone for once.

Penelope was sitting on his lap, her head resting against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. His hand was playing with her hair and she hoped that she was helping him relax so that he would be more inclined to open up.

"He was absent from my life more than he was in it." Phoenix curled a strand of Penelope's hair around his finger while he spoke. 

"They were young when they had me—my parents. My father wasn't ready for the commitment, so he left." He watched the curl fall from his finger. "I didn't see him again until I was 14. He needed money."

Penelope could feel his heartbeat picking up in his chest and she grabbed the hand that was playing with her hair and gave it a squeeze. 

"I told him to fuck off and he did, but 2 years later he came back. He told me that he lost all of his savings in a bet and some guy would kill him if he didn't pay what he owed.

Me and my mom didn't have much. And even if we did, we wouldn't give it to him to solve a problem he created. But when he wasn't able to get the money, they..."

Phoenix sighed, the memories reigniting a flame of anger that had been subdued for a while. 

"...they killed my mom."

Penelope's eyes widened but her mind was confused. His mom was killed in a car accident wasn't she?

"I was there when it happened. The car came out of nowhere and was driving towards us like we were a target." Phoenix chuckled bitterly and shrugged. "And it wasn't a surprise to find out that we were."

Penelope's own heart rate was outrunning Phoenix's at this point. So many questions and thoughts were swarming her head but she couldn't bring herself to ask any. He sounded so distant when talking but she knew that the reality hit close to home. 

"Is that why you moved here?" She whispered. The words somehow found their way out of her throat and she surprised herself when she found that there was no waver or crack. 

He nodded, his eyes flashing down to meet hers. And she shivered at the emptiness shown that was usually hidden behind his hard exterior. 

"He became my legal guardian after that and made the decision to have a fresh start. We moved to America a year later."

He took a breath before continuing. 

"But after the accident I was...lost. Drugs, guns, girls- I did anything to keep myself busy. And a lot of it was illegal." 

Penelope's heart panged uncomfortably at his last mention but she tried to remain indifferent. She asked him to be honest, and so he was. 

"A-and do you still do those things?" She asked lightly. 

"No" He said, his eyes moving back down to hers. "I got involved in some really bad shit but I was able to get out of it in time."

He faltered, unsure if he should mention the next part. 

"The police got involved and for the first time since the accident I was scared."

Penelope tried to get ahold of herself and be strong for Phoenix. But it was really hard to not tear up while picturing him in that kind of position.

"Did you get hurt?" She whispered, her arms wrapping around him in a hug. 

He shook his head and she let out a breath. 

"But what about that-that guy in the elevator; Xan?" She sniffed and cleared her throat, almost forgetting about what had happened earlier. 

Phoenix sighed and brought Penelope's legs to wrap around his waist, so that she was straddling him. 

"I...I was helping him out with a run. " His hands ran up and down the side of her thighs. 

"It was a favour for dealing me some weed, which sounds really fucking dumb, but I was high and wasn't thinking—I didn't think it was a big deal. But I haven't talked to him in a while so that's why he threw a fit in the elevator."

Penelope frowned at what she was hearing but she couldn't get past that same word. Run. 

"What do you mean by run?" 

His jaw ticked and he turned his head towards the window, not planning on answering the question. 

"Nix" Penelope whispered, touching his jaw, so that he would turn back and face her.

"A drop-off; coke, crystal that kind of shit."

Penelope's arms slackened and she bit her lip in concern. 

"Phoenix."

"I know." He cut her off before she could add anything else. He looked everywhere but her eyes, knowing that they were filled with disappointment. 

"You just said you don't do that anymore, but you're still dealing with this stuff? I don't understand." She whispered with drawn brows.

The boy felt pressured by her questions; he's never had to explain himself before, he's never bothered to. But he knew that he had to make the effort for her, she was too important not to.

"I'm not—" He rubbed his jaw, trying to figure out how to explain that he's not the one in charge of the operation, nor was he actually taking the drugs this time and that's why it was different.  "I'm not actually involved, okay? It was just something I decided to do in the moment; I won't be doing it again anyway, Xan annoys the fuck out of me." Phoenix chuckled a bit at the end, but he quickly stopped when he saw that Penelope was not impressed.

"That's the only reason why you want to stop? This is dangerous, Nix, it's illegal. Aren't you worried about something happening to you?"

The Norwegian parted his lips to speak, but then closed them once again. She would be upset if he answered no to her question.

At his silence, the green-eyed beauty cupped his face with her small hands, her pouty lips drawn downwards. It hurt her heart that he clearly didn't care that much for himself.

"I'm not going to tell you what you should and shouldn't do, but just know that I care about you Phoenix, a lot. I care about what happens to you, and you should too."

Pulling him in for a chaste kiss, she fingered his hair, a slight shiver running down her back the boy's ringed hands gripped her waist.

"Do you get what I'm saying baby?" She murmured after they pulled away and he dipped his head down to nuzzle into the crevice of her neck.

Phoenix's lips twitched at the endearment, but he hummed, briefly pressing his lips against her soft skin.

"Thank you for being honest." She mumbled after a moment. "It's okay to not be okay sometimes. I want you to be vulnerable with me." She whispered, massaging his scalp with the light touch of her fingers. 

Phoenix sighed, his fingers pressing into her sides before relaxing once more.

"I'm trying."