Say you love me

58

Pearl trailed behind John as he held her hand while they walked. They had to go to the shops for groceries. John made a mental list of what they needed: toothpaste, soap, milk, oatmeal. If there was any money left over he'd buy Pearl some sweets. Did Pearl even eat sweets? Did Christine let her? There was so many basic things he didn't even know. It was raining like it always did in England, it splashed down in fat droplets from an elephant colored sky. Pearl was dressed in a bright yellow raincoat with matching yellow boots that were scuffed with black marks from previous wear. Everything she owned was secondhand. John wanted desperately to get her something new, even if it was just a pair of shoes.

She brought that damn bear everywhere she went, John even had to set a place for it at the table, and she shrieked when John tried to wash it. 
"He's mine, Daddy! I need him! I need him for when Mummy comes back!" The bear's brown fur was starting to look mangled and worn, and his stitched-on smile was starting to fray. But Pearl wouldn't let anyone touch it.

The market was busy: there were no trolleys left. John had wanted to stick Pearl in a trolley while they shopped as it was easier, but now that wasn't an option. She'd have to trail behind like she always did, like a little forlorn shadow. She cuddled her bear against her chest as they walked from aisle to aisle, her little cheek against the matted fur. She looked like a little ghost, normally she didn't stop talking. Kids shouldn't look like that. Why wouldn't she smile?

What could he do?

He tried to think as he pondered the shelf full of milk. He didn't care to have it delivered like most people did, so he'd have to buy it. He hadn't had any when Pearl arrived, and Christine must have gave it to her because that's all she would drink.

He didn't realize Pearl wasn't next to him until he set down his items.