Lover | Richie Tozier

Chapter 78.

Richie wanted to be angry. He wanted to be so fucking angry. His fists physically ached by his side, and not that he'd ever use them again, but they flared to the roots of his nerves with twisted rage. The mix of resentment and neglect bred his anger into his core.

Castro gave him one last look, assuring that Richie was really sure about meeting with her, and obediently stepped out of the room when the boy gave his nod of approval.

Wanted. He wanted to be angry.

He wanted to ask her why the hell she could ever leave him like that. Why she would let him suffer. Why she would let him starve. Why she would let his father into the home they'd created on their own. And more importantly, why she'd let him ruin it. There were a lot of things he wanted to ask his mother. But when the door emanated the familiar sound of being pulled open, his words seemed to bound against the ceiling and rain back down on him.

Maggie Tozier stepped into the room while trying to formulate the words that would cure her son. Every shadow casting on her face was one curated by the years of darkness she had just stepped from. Her past muted the colors behind her, dulled the bright red staining Richie's tightened knuckles, and softened the volume of the atmosphere's invisible edges with the gentle tones made from the shadow that was dependent on his sunlight.

He centered his attention on her face, unsure of how to react. His eyes washed over with tears to blur the memory of the past decade, feeling the endless years of neglect begin to mount inside of him in the face of the woman who never would've wanted it but let it happen anyways.

She let it happen, but he let it happen to her, so maybe they were even.

"Richie..." Maggie began carefully, trailing off to places unknown.

She wore a face that was expectant of the anger she knew was harboring inside of him. Anger that just wasn't there anymore when she was actually standing in front of him. The anger was forgotten. The bitterness was crushed. The resent had been shattered into millions of splinters. Because despite all that had come between them, there she was, still in one piece; a symbol of the bravery he was made of.

The hug she'd captured him in would never be enough to make up for everything, yet Maggie tried regardless. Richie relaxed into her arms. When a deep breath was carried in, an even heavier one was released in return. He merely sat there and let the feeling consume him.

"Richie I'm sorry," she eventually trembled, grasping onto his back with the hope of never losing him again. Her face was pressed against his shoulder and he could feel tears begin to melt through the fabric of his t-shirt. "I'm so sorry, baby. Forgive me, won't you? You didn't deserve that. I swear you didn't. I... I didn't deserve that, either."

When Richie looked back up at her, he was crying. Really crying. You would think he hasn't seen her in 13 years and was just now being enthralled in some pivotal reunion. After all, in some mysterious way, he was.

She didn't fall from existence when his father returned, but the mother he knew did. Now he had her back. He had everything back. He was back.

"I'll let you two speak," Castro nodded, almost shedding a tear himself, and stepped away.

Maggie eventually forced herself away from the embrace to stare back at Richie. This was the first time she was properly able to look at him without dejection blanketing his features. To make things a little clearer, she swept her painted fingertips across his freckles to remove a tear. "Let's talk about it. Let me explain," she reasoned.

They took their seat in the middle of the empty room and Richie only just noticed how cold the entire thing was. It was composed of 4 concrete walls, stacked up to new heights and never letting the secrets exposed inside of them loose. It seemed a lot warmer when he didn't pay attention to his mother or his friends who were probably long gone by now. He shook himself loose of the feeling, because what he didn't pay attention to was still there, and it was there with the warmest love he'd ever felt.