II

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Getting back from the appointment I open the door and revel in how messy the house is. He's got books all over the table and floor surrounding the sofa. A sprawled about blanket on the couch. His coffee mug seated on a coaster and an empty bowl. In all my years of knowing Eric I know he's a neat freak and doesn't like anything out of place.

He comes down the stairs in his joggers and headphones in. We lock eyes momentarily and I can see the disappointment on his face as clear as the day I left.

I opted to go to Jordan's. As I'm opening the car door Eric rubs at his temples. His sigh says it all he doesn't want me to go. I swallow down the lump in my throat and shake the tears away. I don't want to hurt him but I'm hurting and I don't know how to fix this.

"Will you at least come back?"

"Eric...you...I wish—" the tears are forming again and this isn't what I want to do. "I'll text you."

There it was his disappointment and it nearly tore up my heart. But still I got in the car and drove away. I can't go to my mom's because she'll ask too much questions. Plus if I see Fraya, I will rip her face off. I breathe out and let my eyes finally release the tears they've been dying to.

"What? Come to get more of your things?"

"Stop. You don't get to be jealous."

"Why not Maia? Because you think I'm in love with your sister? Or because she and I had one night together?" Or was it the secret itself? Maia you're my fucking wife however brief it's been and I think there's a difference. I think I'm allowed to be jealous." He combs his fingers through his hair roughly and exasperated sigh escaping his plump pouty lips.

"I'm not into Richard like that and I'm not fucking him. I'm not you Eric." As soon as I said it I regretted it instantly.

He came inches from me and forced his lips onto mine. At first, I welcomed it, the warmth of his tongue and the softness that are his lips. But as it deepened I saw Fraya and it turned the heat down. I pull away and take a step back.

"This doesn't fix anything."

"Don't you think I fucking know that?" Snapping again at me he grabs my chin and forces his lips on mine.

Crashing my back onto the glass exposing me to the neighboring homes. Showing them my weakness I allow his body to control me and his lips to sooth me. Before I know what I'm doing I'm pushing him and he's taken by surprise. But shoving him felt so good. I shove him again using both hands exhaling some of pain as I push once more knocking him onto the sofa. He pulls at my dress and tears off my panties. He examines the thing and smirks. I unbutton his pants and pull both pants and briefs past his hips.

Reveling in the feeling I'm about to get I grab at his length. Watching him as his hands go for my breast. I climb on top and roll my hips for my pleasure. He rolls us over putting him on top and fucks fast and then slow for his own torturous pleasure. Wanting to go at a steadier pace, I pull my legs closer to my chest and use my feet to get him right on his back.

Arguing with our bodies whilst releasing our tension I find myself in a trance. Both of us grind into each other our moans ricocheting off the glass. Even our pulls of exhales are out of sync but smiling to myself I get up from the couch.

Readjusting my clothes I don't dare look at him. How is this possible? How can this have been the best sex of my life. I can feel my body wanting to lie their and continue to convulse but my mind still won't allow. My mind and heart can't seem to agree.

I reach for torn panties and drop them on the sofa. I slip back into my clothes and just as I'm putting on my shoes does he make a sudden movement.

"Just stay. Please." He begs.

      ****

I knock at the door instead of using my key and now that I've done it I feel ridiculous. He comes to the door laughing and smiling and I kind of feel bad about what I'm about to do. I listen to the noise behind him but all I hear is the television.

"Why didn't you just use your key? Let me guess your clumsy self dropped them somewhere and lost the key." He says laughing and I try and force the laugh but he notices. Entering the house I feel unsteady like I should've put on some flats or maybe sneakers? After just having had the best sex of my life and now coming here my emotions feel as though they're pin balling throughout my body.

Before reaching the living room he's stopping and I'm crashing into him. "I knew something was bothering you. What's going on Maya?"

"Yeah we've got to talk."

Sitting down on the sofa, I grab for his hand trying to comfort us both. He smiles only making this harder for me.

"Rich you know I loved living here for this little bit and we both knew it couldn't last forever."

I know this is the right thing to do but I'm terrified this leaves me out and vulnerably placed. I want to be with be with Eric but I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I sigh—I just need to rip off the band aid.

"Okay—"

Rip off the band aid. Rip off the band aid.

"I have to go back home. I need to fix things with him."

He scoffs, "You're going back to him even though he's broken your heart yet again? You came here to get away from him on your wedding night Maya. You came here crying your eyes out."

"You just don't get it Rich, I love him."

"So you're going to stay with him then?" Richard says under the furrow of his brow. Shaking his head he says, "There is better out there for you Maya. But you're too hung up on him to see that."

"I'm married to him Richard doesn't he deserve a chance at this. I married him knowing what happened. I love him and I need to work on this for my marriage."

"Well my door is always open for you when he messes shit up again." He holds the door and planting a kiss to his cheek, "And he will mess up. I know it."

When he says that it sends a chill down my spine and into my feet. I nearly buckle, what if he's right? I roll my things out the building and back down to the parking garage. The entire drive home those last few words replayed in my mind louder than the radio.

"And he will mess up."

Sitting in the driveway I let a shaky breath escape me. I should get out of this car with all my things and go inside and unpack. Maia you can do this just. Go inside and mend your relationship. My arms won't move and my eyes are burning begging me to cry. Thinking about crying is increasing my urge to cry.

Taps on my window break me from my thoughts. He opens the door and extending his hand he smirks. He's happy to see me.

"I want to."

"But?"

"I can't seem to move." I admit.

He leans in and lifts me out the car carrying me bridal style. He looks ahead as I admire him. His facial hair is growing thicker, his lips look delicious and his blue eyes look like they're dancing with happiness. He's very happy I'm here. I just hope I made the right choice.

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