Beyond His Green Eyes| ✓

Mangata

Mangata (Swedish); the glimmering, road-like reflection the moon creates on water.

C H A P T E R    F O U R T Y - N I N E 

"What.....what did you just say?" I asked, seating myself on the couch, unable to drive away the seemingly eternal perplexion that raided my mind.

"You're the only person who can bear with me, the only one who knows how to diffuse the most difficult of situations, the only one who not only attempts but is able to see through the fucked up person that I am and I couldn't ask for a better girl for myself, I am not even sure someone like that exists," he said, chuckling to himself while I tried to recover from the shock. "I'm in love with you, Sydney."

His confession echoed in my mind over and over again, muddling all my thought processes. "That's the first time you've called me Sydney," I muttered, barely being audible.

"That's always a better response to hear than a thank you when you confess your love," he said, stifling a laugh, raking his hand through his messy hair. "I'm sure that's not true. How can I never have called you by your name before?" he answered, technically.

"No, you've never called me Sydney before this," I replied, still very dumbfounded.

"Well, then, hats off to your exceptional observation skills, but I was kind of hoping you'd pay attention to the principal part of my confession," he raised his eyebrows at me.

"You love me?  We've been dating for what? Three or four months? How the hell can you love me? No, you don't."

He looked taken aback by my response and gave me a tight smile. "I don't consider time an adequate quality to determine my feelings. And to love me or not, that's your choice, but you can't declare what I feel for you as false. They are my feelings, and I hardly have any control over them, so you're no one to prove them wrong. I would never have told you something so intense if I didn't mean it. It's so disappointing of you to say something like that," he replied, looking at me vanquished.

"Noah, I--"

The opening of the door didn't let me finish my sentence, although I doubt it would make any difference with how upset he was. I hated this. It was his birthday, he was supposed to be the happiest today, and I had managed to screw up this day for him as well. 

Jay ran to his best friend the moment he opened the door and pulled him in a hug. "Happy Birthday, my man," he wished, and the smile on Noah's face immediately returned at Jay's little gesture. I could tell it wasn't as real as before, but nevertheless, it was quite persuasive.

"The whole team and everyone else is waiting for you downstairs, come on, let's go," Jay said, pulling the both of us out of the apartment.

I was more disappointed in myself that he was. How could I be so inconsiderate towards his feelings? I was so wrapped up in being confused and scared of intense emotions that I not only was a bad sender of them, but I had become a shit receiver as well. It surprised me how much confidence he displayed while confessing like he was proud of his ability to love me. On the other hand, it frightened me. Noah enjoyed being in touch with his feelings; he handled the intensity of them very well while I was a complete idiot in that department.

The moment we stepped out of his building, I heard his whole team howling. The rays of sun embraced the skin on Noah's face, making his eyes a shade lighter than they really were. A beautiful smile spread on his face as everyone came along to wish him. He genuinely looked so happy; my heart couldn't stop itself from fluttering. I couldn't help myself, so I snapped a few pictures of him on my phone.

"Hey," Noah came up to me after a while.

"Hey," I mimicked his greeting.

"We need to talk, but they all have something planned out," he said, pointing at his team. "I can't say no to them, so I should be back in an hour or so, yeah?" he informed me.