Commouvere

45.8K 1.5K 856
                                    

Commouvere (Italian); to touch, to affect; to move someone to tears.

C H A P T E R    F I F T Y - T H R E E

Noah's POV (Right after Syd left his apartment)

The moment Sydney closed the door, I let out a deep sigh as I unknowingly plopped down on my couch, finding it hard to accept that whatever happened was real. I could hear her crying, right outside and all I wanted to do was go to her, wrap my arms around her and tell her that I can't live without her, that I didn't mean any of those obnoxious words that I had let out of my mouth in a state of rage.

I couldn't hear anything after a few moments, and just like that, I knew she was gone, leaving me all alone, like always. She didn't only withdraw herself from my life; she took my happiness as well because she was that. All I could hear were her words and that she wasn't mine anymore, and the more my mind appeared to dwell in that realization, the more my confidence crumbled.

For the first time in life, I had thrown my cowardice away and dared to love someone so much that I had lost some of myself in her. I was content if I had nothing but her, and now, she was gone. Sydney was gone. I knew I was the one majorly at fault here. I had no right to throw whatever Tiffany told me and accuse her like that. I should've let my mind be the master and sat down and had a peaceful conversation, and instead, my anger took over, destroying the one thing that made life worth.

I felt so horrible for having said all those things to her. The fire of desire fueled by every memory of us that branded deep in me had extinguished itself, taking away my blessing, but every memory of mine with Sydney emerged untouched, still as unsullied as it was when I obtained it. Every touch, every kiss, every reaction of hers when my skin touched hers was so raw to me that it had managed to wake all my fears that watered themselves down from my eyes.

My world was becoming darker than the sky on a stormy day, loneliness crippling every thought of mine, strangling the hope I had saved for happiness. Now that I was broken enough did I realize how thoroughly sharpened my words were, and how they must've shot like daggers at her heart because I had spoken them at such a sensitive moment. The worst part was, I didn't mean any single one of them. How could I ever? She was my love, my home and now, I was lost.

Being admired for your strengths was very easy; it's something the whole world would come down to do if instructed. But being cherished despite and with the complete acceptance of each of the flaws you could possess? 

That's what love actually meant. That's what most people yearn for in their life, and I had found that. Even though Sydney hadn't reached on the page that I resided, I knew it was only a matter of time before she would fall for me. There wasn't a chance in the world anyone could stop that because when she looked at me, her eyes held the same sentiment with the same amount of strength that my eyes did when I looked at her. I felt and loved the way her body reacted in my presence, how I could make her go from the most confident woman ever to weak in the knees with just one touch, no average person can hold so much power over you.

There was one more thing that I knew for sure, no matter what happened in life, there was no way my heart would know anything easier than loving her. She had acquired an infinite amount of space that my heart and mind didn't seem running out of. There was no way I could feel anything other than love for her. When I met her, I had thought of myself as incapable of feeling an emotion such as love, specifying my heart as cold. When I was with her, she had made me aware of my profoundly hidden capabilities, making my heart strong and brave, and now that she had left me, it was simply broken.

All of this had started because she came to know about me and Tiffany and there was no way in hell I wasn't giving the person responsible what he deserved. I picked up my phone and headed towards the cafe to find Sebastian. When I arrived, I saw that he was sitting inside. I raced towards the door and passed all of my friends, not noticing any of their greetings.

Beyond His Green Eyes| ✓Where stories live. Discover now