Baatein kuch unkahee si

Part 19

Khushi was lost in her thoughts and had her eyes closed with tears rolling down, when she felt a warm touch on her cheek wiping those. Her eyes shot open at the familiar touch and she saw arnav standing infront of her. She looked surprised. He gave his lopsided smile and said in a husky voice: kya hua...kyun ro rahi ho..(what happened? Why are you crying?)

Khushi made a baby face and said: aapke bina humey kuch achha nehi lagta..(I don't like it when you are not there)

Arnav grinned and said: to kisne kaha ki tumhe mere bina rehena hai..(who said you have to live without me?)

Khushi's face lit up and said: sach?(really?)

Arnav nodded his head and said yes

Khushi jumped forward to hug him but realized that he was not there. She called out: arnavji!! And realized she was imagining things.

She broke down into tears yet another time and thought:' kyun itna sab kuch ho jaaney ke baad bhi hum aapse aapne aap ko alag nehi kar pa rahe hai...barbar bas aap hi ka khayal...kash aap hamari ankhein par paatey, fir aapko ehsaas hota ki hum aapse kitna pyaar kartey hai...lekin aapne to...

She composed herself and wiped her tears saying: hum bohot dur chale jayenge..aapki yaadon se, aapse aur shayed aapne aap se bhi... (why I couldn't separate you from my thoughts even after so much...I still keep thinking about you...wish you could have read my eyes..then you would have known how much I loved you... I will go away from you, you thoughts and maybe from myself as well)

Little did she know that though arnav couldn't read her eyes, he was reading all that was there in her heart.

Arnav read on:

'Pata nehi devi maaiya aap kya chahti hai..aj hum jab thal bharne gaye they to hum arnavji se fir miley..hum girne hi waale they aur unhone hamara hath pakad liya...hum dono ne ek doosrey ko dekha....ek pal ke liye hum unki aankhon ko parne ki koshish kar rahe they fir ehsaas hua woh arnav singh raizada hai aur unki ankhon mein gussey ke ilava kuch aur nehi dikh sakta...prarthna karne ke baad jab hum aapni aankhein khole tab bhi wohi hamarey samne they...pata nehi aise kya dekh rahe they... Laad governor kahike kuch bhi dekhe..humey kya..' (don't know devi maaiya what you want..then I went to fill the tray I again met arnavji..i was about to fall but he held me..we saw each other and I tried to read his eyes but then realized it was arnav singh raizada and you can't read anything apart from anger in his eyes....when I opened my eyes after the prayer I saw him looking at me..dont know what he was seeing... but how does it matter)

Arnav smiled as he could well imagine the face she would have made calling him a laad governor. Though he never said this but he always found it very cute.

'...hum us laad governor ko chhorenge nehi...itni mushkil se sara din khaaney ki taraf bina dekhe humne vrat rakkha aur unhone puja se pehele hi woh tod diya...dekhiye devi maaiya is mein hamari koi galti nehi hai..sab unki galti hai..pata nehi hamarey har kaam mein tang kyun aaratey hai (I will not leave him ...the entire day I didn't even look at food as I was fasting and he made me drink water and broke my fast....it was not my mistake..it was his fault..why does he have to always interfere in my matters)

Arnav smirked and said: yeah right

..Lekin aaj kuch aur bhi hua jo dekh ke humey achha nehi laga...woh lavanyaji jis tarah se arnavji se galey mili aur phir jab unhone unka vrat toda pata nehi humey itna bura kyun laga .....shayed saradin bhookey rehene ka asar hoga tabhi to hum aisi ulti seedhi baatein soch rahe hai...' (something else also happened today, which made me feel bad..lavanyaji hugged him and then he broke her fast..i don't know why I felt bad about it..may be because of my empty stomach my thoughts went haywire)

Arnav chuckled. So here she was jealous but so unsure of her feelings that she actually blamed it on her empty stomachonly she is capable of this!

'Aj anjaliji aur mamiji aayi thi..woh chahti hai ki hum shantivan jaaye aur lavanyaji ko sab kuch sikhaye taaki naniji unse khush ho jaye...lekin hum waha nehi jaana chahtey hai kyunki waha...waha arnavji hai...firse unka samna...firse woh saarey ajeeb ehsaas...pata nehi kaise hum...humne mana kar diya tha lekin anjaliji ne kaha ki hum nehi gaye to humey woh ek lakh rupaye dena parega...hamarey pass haan kehene ke ilava aur koi upaye nehi tha...(anjaliji and mamiji came today...they want me to go to shantivana nd train lavanya...I don't want to go because arnavji is there...again facing him...all those feelings..i denied but then they said I have to pay that one lakh rupees...so I had to agree finally)

Oh so this was the reason why she came to shantivan and how he had insulted her everytime she met.

She had written about the day when he had thrown her out of the house.

'Devi maaiya kya hum itne burey hai..kya paise na hona koi bohot bara gunaah hai? Hum kabhi soch bhi nehi saktey ki koi hamarey khilaf police mein... Aur fir arnavji ne humey ghar se bhi...pata nehi woh kyun humey barbar itni taklif detey hai aur hum unhe aisa karne detey hai..(am I that bad or is it a crime to be poor...I cant even think someone can complain to the police and then he threw me out...don't know why he keeps on hurting me and I let him do that)

Arnav said aloud: I am sorry khushi..I am very very sorry...

The next few pages had how she bonded with lavanya. What all activities she did with her. Arnav noticed one thing that every day she had written something or the other about him...sometimes in anger, sometimes as a complaint, sometimes confused, sometimes the soft corner that she had for him came across.

Aj hum bohot darr gaye they..sach mein hum bohot darr gaye they...jab arnavji rasoi mein behosh ho gaye they...yeh sab hamari wajah se hua hai...woh waha shakkar lene aaye they aur hum... Hamari wajah se unhe taklif hui...aapka lakh lakh shukar rahe devi maaiya jo aapne unki raksha ki...aj agar unhe kuch ho jata to hum...(I was very scared...when he became unconscious in the kitchen...all because of me...he came to take sweets and i...he was in pain because of me...thank you God for saving him..if something would have happened to him then...)

She cared so much about me...one little thing shook her up so much.