the light

a message to myself in 2020

your days may have been long and strenuous, with constant battles for breathe seeming pointless and relentless, when the air below is so so clouded and filled with smoke.

your days might have ended, with dried up tear streaks and a pounding head, a soaring headache assaulting your mind to be followed by dark bags and even more aching eyes.

your strength and perseverance seeming even more futile and without rhyme or reason as the seconds pass into minutes - turning in hours - into days - and now your years have gone by, seemingly nothing has changed. life still turns and swirls, pointless and absurd.

but just take a moment to really breathe, soak in the moment a while and remember where you were, not even two years ago, with a broken heart and a lonely ache in your chest - feeling so so hopeless; like no one really cared; like friends, weren't really your friends (just mismatched pieces to a puzzle you haven't even began to solve yet).

and really look, take a good long look, at where you are. admittedly still a bit broken and still a whole lot lost, but when you've surrounded yourself in community - and people who really care - what else could you really begin to search for in life?

so, to myself in 2020: remember where you came from, and look at where you are, acknowledge your hardships, and let them go. life may seem hard, and often times you'd be right, but with the right attitude and friends, you can make it through the world.