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WHILE THE PEOPLE were getting themselves prepared for the anticipating night, Ella had taken up a shift on the wall instead of doing her real work inside the clinic. She needed time with herself to think about everything that had happened out there and in here. Most importantly, she wanted to be on the lookout for any sign from Glenn if he was still out there and trying to get back to Alexandria somehow. She couldn't sleep tonight knowing Glenn might've shown a sign and no one saw it because they weren't looking for it, only for any sign of possible breaches. She would live with that guilt forever without even knowing it. She had her doubt but she was trying to hold onto hope. It was what Glenn would do if the roles were reversed for them.
Ella fumbled with the ring he placed on her finger for it seemed like it had just happened yesterday morning before they sought out the growing horde of the undead banging and throwing themselves at the trucks. She wished she told him everything she wanted to tell him that day he proposed to her. She had so much more to say that she never had the chance to because something would always come up and put everyone's lives in danger. She wished they did have more memories together though.
Her favorite memory so far had to have been when they were still in Atlanta up on that hill when everyone she knew before the outbreak was still alive (apart from her mother) and he decided to throw her into the lake before dunking himself right in on her the moment she came back up. She remembered the only reason he did that was to cheer her up. She was fearful of the outbreak. He was, too, but he tried to play it off in front of her. That was their happiest moment.
So much left to say, so much undone.
She hoped he was still alive. For her own sanity at least. It felt like just about everyone she's been friends with, who had been family, and the person she had been in love with have just died. Whether it was in her arms or not. It was the Ella effect. Or curse. She couldn't quite figure what to call it. She hoped that wouldn't be the case for dear little Judith, for Maggie, for Carl, for Rosita (whom she was just now starting to warm up to), for Daryl too even despite they never really spoke. She should change that with a lot depending if they all made it through the night.
"You don't have to be up here." his firm voice startled the bones underneath her skin. She jumped up and looked at him, laughing and catching her breath. "Didn't mean to scare you." he frowned.
"Rick, it's. . . it's okay." she shrugged. She looked back to where she was looking for a sign of Glenn's survival in the direction Michonne had walked from earlier when she returned.
Rick looked out where Ella was looking. "Ella-"
"I heard you. 'You don't have to be up here'," she rolled her eyes, putting the gun closer to her stomach. "But I want to be. I want to be here all night if I have to. Glenn said that he would put a signal if he survived and when or if he does then it'll come from over there," she pointed out. "I want to wait right here for him until tomorrow."
