when the dust settles down

#4 finding the purpose

I was discharged from hospital yesterday, there's just so much to process, to understand, to relate.
I entered my room and pulled the doors of closet, there has to be something, my spy sense was tingling it was like trying to find something about someone else, the only problem was that someone is me.

My parents told me that I lost my phone in woods, and my Mac will be in drawer, so I clumsily grabbed my laptop and took a huge leap on my bed which led on a huge downfall with my face on top of the bed corner, and trust me it hurts like hell.

I tried to forget about pain by focusing on main objective, that is to find about myself, facial recognition got activated and I locked in, opened the gmail tab in chrome, unfortunately it had two accounts, Meghan Green and Valarie Menace,
It was bewildering confusing that who is Valarie and why my last name is green and not specter. I tried to guess random passwords and security questions but nothing worked, so I gave up the hope and started searching about amnesia.

"A progressive disorder which destroys memory and other events due to traumatic injury or an onset disease" I murmured in a low voice to me.
"For recovery, patients should be introduced to familiar scenarios to trigger the neurons of brain. Memory might come back in certain visions slowly in bits or maybe something can trigger to bring the whole past picture at once  Says Dr. Russell of Pennsylvania"
I quoted.
Well, this explains the little vision that I m getting past few days.
Someone softly knocked on my door and without waiting for response my newly found mum entered balancing a big tray carrying tea, omelette and few chunks of bacon.
"Sweetheart, you look weak, how are you doing? " She settled the tray aside on table and sat over the end of table.
"I m good, I think, other than not knowing how I spent my last 24-25 years I mean perfectly good"

"Well I can see you are still sarcastic as before, that hasn't changed" Donna smiled.

"Um, mum, there's something I need to ask"
"Yes babe, go on".
" Did anyone else use my Mac during my absence ?"
"Your room was locked, I don't think so" She shrugged off.
"And do you think you know ny gmail's password ? "
"I m afraid not ,sweetheart" She said while smoothing the creases on my bed sheet.
There was few minutes of silence when she got up and moved herself out.
"If you need anything then call me" With these notes she wandered off.
I was restless , there's still nothing about me, no pictures of me around.
I changed into comfortable adidas hoodie and sweat pants and ran down to the kitchen.
Donna was washing dishes in sink, I decided to play gently so I tapped on her shoulder playfully.
She gasped and turned around.
"Why are you out of bed, you need rest" She hissed.
"I know I know, I mean fully aware that I m slave of my bed now but I just wanted to talk to you".
" What is it honey? "
"Let's sit first"
We both took chair around the table and faced each other, it seemed like no awkward confrontation, more like a teenage girl telling her mother that she's pregnant with her not so popular boyfriend but in my case it was different.
"Well, mum... It's like... I am just not able to fit myself here, I mean you see I don't remember anything, and I need a trigger, I don't see any of my photos around, I don't see my stuff, it's like I m at someone else's place"

"Well, how do I put this love"
"But, you were camera conscious, we barely had pictures of you, and the ones we had, you burned them during your 17th birthday, and it will take time for you to feel safe, don't be paranoid, you just had miscarriage, don't work yourself out"

"I understand, I just hope this emptiness leaves me soon"
"I am here, for you, you know right? "
She took my hand and pressed it softly three times.
Before I could say the whole kitchen was filled with loud sirens and blue and red light.
"What's going on mum? " I asked on top wailing sirens.
"You stay in here I will see" I could see fear in those big eyes.
"Meghan, don't come out till you are asked to, this is not a request but a command, stay in" She gave me a stern look and shooted out.
I glanced outside  and saw two black Mercedes on porch.
"It's NYPD, new York police department, I know they need answers, they won't stop"
I said to myself.