Letters and Murmurs

Chapter Twenty-Three: Dreams Only Last For a Night

I had shut myself in my room for days. I honestly just laid around pretending the world didn't continue to move. Cheryl was going home but told me she'd keep in touch with me. It really hurt her leaving. She was the only one for so long who knew I was alive and was willing to help me. I laid there staring out my window as she talked to me and patted my side. Alex even tried to talk to me and get me to eat something. It resulted in dad leaving food on a bedside table. I would eat a few pieces of something and drink the water or coffee I had been brought before disappearing into my world again.

"She can't live like this,"

"I know she can't. I just don't know what to do,"

"You are her parent man,"

"You try something then,"

No one came to my room until later that night with dinner. It was Rian, he noticed my hands were black. Rian quickly grabbed my cold fingertips and looked at me. I had been painting on a spare canvas. I left the wet canvas in the ensuite bathroom to dry. Rian wrapped his hands around my fingers thinking that he could warm them some possible way. I looked at the sleeves of the hoodie I was still wearing. I pulled the sleeves almost all the way over my fingers.

"Why don't you come out and eat with Brendon and me?" Rian said and I shook my head.

Beckett was upset at Jack kissing my cheek. It was Jack it wasn't like it meant anything. The guys all kissed my head or cheek. I kissed dad's cheek ever so often it wasn't like I wanted to romantically be with my own dad. Beckett saw affection as something different though, he saw it as something intimate between two individuals. I knew I was already on thin ice with Beckett, he was still processing how to handle me being alive. Beckett wasn't alone though, many days were spent with people shuffling in and out of the house. I think it just they were so used to checking in on dad. I constantly heard knocks at my door. I worked quickly painting or was caught often holding a pencil or a guitar.

Alex came in later that night with a new hoodie in his hands. I looked at him as it had a beanie on top of the hoodie. He threw it on my bed and then went to my closet where I had hung back up most of my pants. He threw me a pair of skinny jeans and a random shirt.

"Go change. We are going out even if I have to drag you out of her myself." Alex said and pointed to my bathroom.

I pointed toward my door and Alex set a timer for 5 minutes. I got up and stripped off my old clothes changing into the fresh ones. I went and checked to see how dry my painting was and say that it was almost dry. I had painted a scenic view one that you could clearly tell was from my window, it was also a nice piece. I leaned it back up against the edge of the bathtub letting it finish drying. Alex's timer went off and he knocked on the door before entering.

"Cool let's go," He said and I pointed to my feet.

I was putting my shoes on when Ale got down on one knee tying my other foot I hadn't yet tied. He then threw me over his shoulder and jogged down the stairs. He yelled something along like the lines of 'I'm taking my child.' I giggled as he placed me in front of his car. Alex and I drove around mindlessly for a few hours before settling on getting some ice cream. Alex asked me what flavor I wanted, I shrugged and decided on coffee ice cream.

"Coffee please," my voice was very airy.

"You okay kid?" Alex said and I nodded.

Once we got our ice cream, mine in a bowl and Alex in a cone. I ate my ice cream so slowly while Alex practically inhaled his. I would never understand how he ate ice cream so fast. We sat on a bench outside the ice cream parlor.

"You know Jack didn't mean anything by that kiss right?" Alex said and I could tell he didn't want to make contact with my eyes.

"Yeah," I licked the spoon getting more ice cream off it.