Heart Of Darkness (Star Wars)

Chapter 4: The Secret

That afternoon I remained in the lodging the villagers gave me. Ani lied beside me, chewing on a bone as I ate a bowl of stew. It wasn't long until I heard footsteps coming into my new home. I looked up to see it was the Mandalorian. I kept my gaze on the ground as he approached me. 

"Cara spoke to me. She said you aren't what you claim to be." He mentioned.

I refused to glance up at him, especially since he brought that up. Now how was I suppose to look at him? I placed a hand on Ani's head, petting him in an attempt to cover up my nerves. 

"And what do you think?" I inquired.

"I want to hear what you have to say." He replied.

For a moment, I stopped petting Ani. I finally looked over at the Mandalorian to see him staring down at me, waiting for me to respond. I heard a whisper in the back of my head. "Tell him the truth. Stop running from your past."

I hesitated before responding. "I'm now a bounty hunter, Mando. Look, I tried telling Cara that I'm not who she thinks I am. I'm on your side. If I wasn't on your side then I would've have risked betraying the Guild."

The Mandalorian looked at me for a few moments in silent. I stared back at him, waiting anxiously for his response. He then gave me a nod. "I believe you."

I let out a relieved sigh. Yet I couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. He was trusting me and I had lied to him. The next day after we trained the villagers, I was in my quarters with Ani by my side and the child in my lap. I gave him the rest of my bone broth.

"Don't worry, little one. We'll take good care of you." I assured him. "I won't let anything happen to you...you won't be like me."

"So this is where the womp rat's at?"

I looked up to see the Mandalorian standing by the doorframe of my home. He was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. I forced a smile, hoping he didn't hear what I told the child.

"Yeah, he wandered in here not too long ago." I informed him.

He remained silent for a few moments, until finally he asked a question. "What did you mean by you won't be like me?"

I froze at his words. He heard what I said to the child. I fumbled for words, unsure of what to say. I looked away from him as I spoke. "I-it's just...I had a tough childhood."

He said nothing, instead he gave me a small nod. I could sense his uncertainty as he crossed his arms. His gaze remained on the child and me.

••• 

After days of training them, we prepared as the sun set. I saw the Mandalorian with Omera and Cara. Once I approached them, I heard the Mandalorian's voice. "When we return, we're coming in hot."

"We'll be ready." Omera assured him.

"Great, we're leaving now?" I inquired.

The Mandalorian and Cara exchanged a look. I didn't like that. They had spoken about me...behind my back. 

"Actually you're staying behind, Helia." He informed me.

"What? What do you mean I'm staying?!" I exclaimed.

"Cara and I can handle it. Besides we need some to stay behind with the villagers." He mentioned.

The Mandalorian walked off, not letting me say anything. My shoulders slumped as they walked away. Reluctantly at his command, I waited with the villagers behind our small barricade made of wood. Ani was with the child and the village children safely hiding in one of the lodgings. We waited for what felt like hours. I took out my sniper rifle, prepared to shoot down the raiders. As I sat tight, thoughts came to my mind. What if the Mandalorian believed Cara? What if he thought I was part of the Empire? A shiver ran up my spine. I can't imagine what he must be thinking about me...probably the worst. And he had every right to think that, because I was a monster. At that moment, we saw Cara and the Mandalorian rushing towards us. Cara crouched behind one side of the barricade, while the Mandalorian knelt on the other side of the barricade next to me.