Dance to This [kth]

e i g h t e e n

ミ★
eighteen
❝scientific discoveries❞
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Loomis' main library, or Engel Library, is one of the many libraries on campus. Engel is the biggest one, and it is most known for its large collection of books. For me, it is most known for housing the staircase where Professor and I. . . were intimate during the festival.

I haven't been in here to study yet this semester, which is pathetic given it's been two months, and I'm regretting it because I have so much to catch up on.

I feel overwhelmed with responsibility once I leave Jungkook. My motivation to study is somehow dwindling as I approach the place designated for it.

I follow the herd of students into the lobby; the floors are so shiny that I can see my reflection and there is not a scuff mark to be seen. Interactive maps and information desks accompanied by student workers wearing polos fill the area. No one stops here, it is a mere crosswalk into where everyone needs to be: the main hall.

Slathered in deep wood with dark red complements, the library itself is styled historically much like the rest of Loomis; the dusty atmosphere proves to be no exception as I inhale the stuffy air and whiff the familiar scent of aging. There are four floors, and each one is connected vertically by the very same walls of bookshelves.

I glance up to the ceiling of the main hall, and it is almost as if the books are never ending; the skylight makes it difficult to see the last few shelves, creating an ominous ambiance. The sight is chilling; I have a feeling in the pit of my stomach of emptiness as I stare in the abyss of disappearing books. The library almost feels lonely although the place is crawling with students. I can barely hear my own thoughts because there is so much noise; no one is talking, but so many people are just existing in one space.

My wandering eyes are disrupted when people trying to get by brush into me. I follow a stream of students into a line waiting for the elevator and release a deep breath to suppress the many anxieties filling my thoughts. I will not allow them to overcome me— at least, not right now. I am worrying about too many things at once. First Professor, then dance and my friends, and now my studies. Pick one.

The elevator is crowded when I squeeze myself in. I get off at the third floor, which is the Science Resource area. I'm the only student who steps off the elevator. Most people are going to the fourth floor where the collaboration studios and group studying areas are. Where I am, no one is allowed to talk. I can hear every scrunch of my shoe as it meets the carpeted floor.