❥❥❥ 𝗥𝗔𝗠𝗕𝗟𝗘𝗦

𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚘𝚕.

there's a person at my church,,
she's just out of college

she can be fun to be with and nice and all but shows heavy favoritism

she always calls one of my friends cute and pretty and beautiful

and then when she talks to me, she's always pointing out my insecurities.
it's a joke, i get it but it really hurts. obviously i laugh it off tho.

like today my friends found this one girl on tiktok that looked like me and they showed her and the girl was like "oh she is the same" and then started to list literally every single one of my insecurities.

and i thought to myself 'she's mean, whatever it's fine, she's always like this, it's a joke who cares'

but i was just about to sleep when i thought about that moment and i just started crying.
i guess i was actually really hurt in that moment i just hadn't realized it.

so, if anyone thinks joking about someone's insecurities is a funny thing, it fucking is not. you can actually hurt the person.

my self confidence has dropped rapidly because of that one person. actually not just her, but a lot of my friends joke about my insecurities too. they're not as extreme as the college girl tho.

and i get it that they dont mean to hurt me and dont want me to take it personally, but i do and i just feel sad about it. i really can't help it.

hhhhh im sorry about this rant. i was just shocked at how much her words affected me i had to write about it.

welp it's 2 am and im going to sleep fr now.