Androphobia

v. listen to mama

Space Song - Beach House

THEA'S POV:

As soon as I stepped inside, I was shutting the door behind me and peering through the peephole to see if Synn was still there. It looked like he was staring at the door through the car window and if he were a superhuman, I would have said he was half-looking at me, straight through the barricade I'd put up between us. The thought made me hold my breath as I slowly moved away from the door and bit back a smile.

Turning around, however, the smile dropped.

Then it returned weakly.

"H-Hi, Mama," I said and tucked my hair behind my ear.

She was standing there with a wooden spoon in hand and a deep frown on her face, the corners of her mouth creasing and lines appearing on her forehead. Flawlessness wasn't something that could be maintained constantly, it seemed, and Mama didn't look particularly occupied by keeping up such a face. She looked more concerned by something else.

"Thea, who dropped you off?"

My heart skipped a beat. Mama's usual soft, sing-song voice was now a knife cutting violently through the air. I couldn't help but flinch as she took a step closer.

"It w-was no one," I stammered, scrunching the beanie in my hands. It was at that moment that I heard the car engine turn on again, wheels crunching along the tarmac as Synn drove away. Mama's eyes narrowed. "Believe me, M-Mama, it was nobody. Just a friend."

"I saw who it was. Don't think that I'm stupid, Thea, because I'm not." I flinched again as she grew nearer. "Since when did you start making friends with boys?"

"I was scared to walk home alone," I whimpered. My tongue almost slipped and revealed the truth about that night, about what those men tried to do to me, but I managed to catch myself and continue. "I-I was scared of passing out again and that n-nice man, Mr Synn, he told me he'd drive me home. But that's all that happened, Mama! He was just being con-considerate."

She let out a humourless laugh and pulled away for a moment, but I raised my hands to protect myself anyway. I wasn't naive enough to not know what she was going to do. "Thea, are you that stupid enough to get into a stranger's car? Have you just forgotten everything we've taught you about staying safe?" she fumed and I felt tears blur my vision. "Imagine he had hurt you. What would you have done? I wouldn't be there to help you and neither would your father!"

"He-He was just being kind-"

"Kind?" She laughed incredulously again. "You really think he drove you home out of kindness?"

I trembled but didn't answer, cautious of the wooden spoon in her hand.

"Don't be so naive, Thea. You know what men want. You know the kind of things they do to girls like you, don't you?"

"I'm sorry, Mama," I croaked, reaching out for her.

She moved away from me. "How did he find you?" she suddenly demanded.

"He came to the charity shop," I said with a sniffle, wiping my eyes with my coat sleeve but they refused to stop falling.

"Brilliant," she smiled sarcastically, "So now he knows where you work? What next, is he going to show up here tomorrow and drive you to the place, huh? Is he going to start coming over and staying up in your bedroom with you? He'll start asking for more and more and then what will you do? You're stupid, stupid, Thea!"

"H-He just wanted to be my friend," I said desperately but she wasn't listening. I recognised that look in her eye. "Mama, please, I won't do it again! I won't!"