Entangled

Chapter-42

Ariana

It had been two weeks since that magazine incident. Two weeks since that small talk with Xavier. To be honest, the past two weeks had been complete bliss, pleasing, and gratifying.

I confronted Daniel and Sean who were trying to ignore me after that incident. They thought that they had put me in trouble I would be upset because of them, but they were wrong; I wasn't. They apologized numerous times but I assured them that I wasn't upset, it wasn't their fault.

I felt like Sarah Park had unknowingly brought four of us closer, especially Xavier and me.

Xavier has been nothing but sweet towards me. Though in the past two weeks he had been too busy, he showed his extreme care and concern towards me. I was so touched by his solicitude.

After that nightmare, Xavier asked me to sleep in his room but I denied it. It was not easy for me. It took so much persuading for me to make him agree to that. He did agree but only on one condition. In return, he wanted more lessons. So, he extended the number of kissing lessons. And he certainly did make sure that I learn something out of it. To be honest, I learned a lot but I was still incompetent and Xavier was not giving up.

He kissed me passionately but didn't try to proceed with it any further for which I was thankful for him. He surely sensed my discomfort since he didn't force himself on me. That's what I like about him, he always perceives my uneasiness, my discomfort and he tries his best to make everything comfortable for me. I was trying to learn to lean into his touch. His touch was gradually making me forget all those sickening touches. He introduced me to something new which I had never even dreamt of.

My feelings for Xavier had grown stronger. His care, concern, sweetness, playful remarks, and teasing filled me with warmth. I liked this version of Xavier that no one had ever seen. People consider him a ruthless, dominant, and authoritative businessman but no one knew the sweet side of him.

Seeing him caring for me sometimes made me feel that I should share my fears and insecurities with him. But trepidation always took over me making me conceal everything back in my mind and heart.

I feared that if Xavier gets to know about my past he'd distance himself from me. I didn't want that, I wanted him closer. He made me feel special, made me feel wanted. For the first time, I was being selfish because I wanted him near me, not away from me. I didn't want him to see me with disgust as everyone else saw me.

I was broken from inside, no one had ever cared about me, everyone always took advantage of me. I was always alone and if concealing my past would keep him alongside me then I'd do it.

Because he's the first man after my father who took a stand for me, who threatened others to protect me, to keep me safe, who gave me freedom, who gave me a place which I could call home. He's the first man who made me feel confident, who saw potential in me, who saw beauty in me. The first man who kissed me. He's the first man towards whom I had grown intense feelings.

The feeling for him was so intense that I wanted to immerse myself in that feeling. The feeling was so passionate that I wanted to flow in that passion. The feeling gave me warmth and I wanted the warmth to flow in me forever.

I didn't know what that feeling was. Was that intense feeling... love? Was I in love with him?

I was not sure about it because I didn't exactly know what love is? I know I had been yearning for love all my life. What I mean is, how will I know that someone loves me? What does it feel like when you're in love?

And most importantly, how would I know that I'm in love with someone?

I don't know anything about what exactly love is, but...